Is it customary to ask someone to be your friend or does it happen naturally?

I find whenever I ask someone to be my friend I get one of two responses.
It’s either “What’s your name again? I’m reporting you to HR!”
Or
“Dude, back away from my car or I’m calling the cops!”

Does this happen to you?

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Punches · 46-50, F

I would like to know too. I need more friends, all my old ones escaped.

Ghostinthemachine · M

@Punches I admire the fact you don’t define your friendships by traditional standards such as free will and mutual understanding

Punches · 46-50, F

@Ghostinthemachine Aww shucks. 🤭

Ghostinthemachine · M

@Punches So is it safe to assume we are best friends now?

Punches · 46-50, F

@Ghostinthemachine Well, it is more than that. I do not want to rush things so we should date for at least a week and then we can start making wedding plans.

Ghostinthemachine · M

@Punches You do realize a week is like...six days...72 hours. Why wait so long?
Are you having doubts???