Is she being judgemental?

I was devastated when my wife left me for another man last april. A couple months on though I met someone completely amazing and we have now been together just over a year. We don't live together but spend every weekend doing fun events with my 8 year old son who idolizes her. She has healed us as a family.

My friend, Ella, supported me through the break up of my marriage and saw how upset I was. I would regularly cry to her. She was concerned that my son was vomiting regularly too and said it must be down to the separation. I disagreed with her as he got past it very quickly and was not really affected by his mum and I splitting up. My son has had tests done and nothing abnormal came up but he does suffer from food allergies.

Since school went back, I have had to keep him off three times and my friend once again said she was worried about him and said 'Are you sure he is really feeling ok about the separation and all the changes? ' I cant help but feel she is being judgmental. How do I tell her to back off?

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Moonpenny · F

You don't!
Children are highly resilient but they're also affected deeply by anything to do with a break-up including blaming themselves to a greater or lesser extent. Sometimes they can't express their own feelings because of their lack of maturity to do so, and alternatively don't want to upset a parent when they're obviously happy and they're also included happily within this relationship too, like your child. Children are very intuitive but don't want to say something out of turn.
Without being arrogant, I think your new partner maybe wants to say roughly what I've just said and definitely doesn't want to come across as judgemental at all. She sounds the right person, for both you and your child. Good luck!

BluePlanet · 36-40, M

@Moonpenny I don't understand. My partner is not the one saying she is concerned, my female friend is.

Moonpenny · F

@BluePlanet I'm sorry, I thought they were one and the same person but my explanation still holds. Maybe she thinks your child has emotional issues. She's probably right.

BluePlanet · 36-40, M

@Moonpenny he hasn't. He has lots of friends and is doing well at school. He also loves my partner.

Moonpenny · F

@BluePlanet Then don't delve below the surface. As I said...good luck!