How do I handle this without being a jerk?

I’m in a therapy group. I like the people there except that they can ramble on about things that aren’t therapeutic or relevant. Even the group therapist joins in with them. I get bored and impatient because we’re all paying for the therapy but they’re constantly digressing.

When this happens, how can I get our group back on track without sounding like a jerk or a control freak?

Top | Newest First | Oldest First

Grateful4you · M

Sorry, knowing myself too well, I would go the "Sounding like a jerk, or control freak" route.

Maybe talk to him privately, joining in the small talk is neither therapeutic nor professional. I have lead a few groups and felt like much of my job was to keep the group on task and remind them of the groups goals.

Nice question!

Keepitsimple · 51-55, F

Does it matter if you’re paying for therapy? I’d be pissed.

View 6 more replies »

ScarletWitch · 31-35, F

@SinlessOnslaught I actually read it a certain way that didnt make sence at first. So I made some changes :P

Grateful4you · M

@Keepitsimple Basically what I said. And ironically, I'm not a confrontational type but he is there for a reason!

Keepitsimple · 51-55, F

That’s how I feel. If I’m paying for something I would expect that person to be respectful and professional enough to keep everybody on task. If not then I would speak up. It’s my money. I want the time being used constructively.@Grateful4you

jomsim · 26-30, M

The moment you see an opportunity to veer things back to the main discussion, I'd leap on it. You can even act like it's a conversational gambit, like, "Oh, that reminds me of what we were talking about earlier".

ScarletWitch · 31-35, F

@jomsim yes. He should be discreet about it. Very clever...

jomsim · 26-30, M

@ScarletWitch I use this at work all the time. It does work, although there's no guarantee they don't go off on some other digression!

xixgun · M

I would discuss this with the therapist privately. If they continue, be a jerk. And when someone calls you this you can say, “If I wanted to hear a bunch of assholes sound off, I’d hang out in a public restroom, but I’m paying for this so let’s get back on track.”

SW-User

Perhaps talk to the therapist about it on the side, outside of group? Individual therapy often works better in this case

Fernie · F

Wanting people to process their stuff the way YOU think they should is pretty controlling. Back on who's track? Let people process the way they need to. Maybe a group situation isn't right for you or you might need to be more assertive to get your needs met there.

SinlessOnslaught · 26-30, M

@Fernie We’re all there for a specific topic (which I won’t disclose here). Talking about bus routes and going to Fricker’s isn’t therapeutic to anyone.

Fernie · F

@SinlessOnslaught then the therapist/facilitator doesn't have control of the group...that is the person to say all this to.

This comment is hidden. Show Comment

Ryannnnnn · 31-35, M

that sounds like an irritating dynamic..I'd maybe do that as a side thing and try getting one on one therapy as a main source.

SinlessOnslaught · 26-30, M

@Ryannnnnn That’s what I’m doing already, actually.

curiosi · 61-69, F

Leave the group, obviously it isn't helping.

Add a comment...