How do you deal with a friend who’s kids are out of control.

I love my friend.
She’s overwhelmed.

But her kids are out of control and clearly she’s frustrated about it. She asks for advice but then shoots it all down immediately by making excuses as to why she can’t do things one way or another.

(Followup to this story - https://similarworlds.com/2-Community/2767285-What-is-wrong-with-her-I-mean-she-chose-to-have-3 )

The three year old pissed on me today at the pool. 😡🤬🤬

More on that in the next story.

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User41 · 36-40, M

Some people you just can’t reach. An honestly maybe your advice isn’t even applicable to her kids despite you being successful with it. I’m not saying not to try, but I wouldn’t make it a priority.

You’re friends, so clearly there’s things about her you do like. I’d just focus on those things.

If her an her kids are so miserable to be around that you can’t even focus on those good things maybe it’s time to find new friends.

KaysHealingPath · 36-40, F

@User41 i told my husband it’s going to have to be adults only outings going forward with her and her husband.

He did this out of a tantrum. She can’t keep track of him- he’s hyper but not medically so - and she asked me to pick him up for her because she was on the other side of the pool. He got angry snd pissed on me.

Next time (if there is a next time) I’m just going to let him keep running around the pool. - it’s shallow anyways.

User41 · 36-40, M

tell her personally this bothers you. An you’re uncomfortable with it. Be cool calm and relaxed when you do.

If she gets offended and breaks off the the friendship so be it 🤷🏻‍♂️

An if she ever tells you to go get him, be like

“No Karen, you go fucking get him”

KaysHealingPath · 36-40, F

@User41 she asked me to pick him up again after that.
I said “I’m sorry girl, I just don’t think he wants me grabbing him, I don’t want to go have to take another shower in the women’s bathroom”

BeefySenpie · M

She needs to meet an Asian parent who can teach her discipline

Sorry you got peed on :/

KaysHealingPath · 36-40, F

@BeefySenpie we latino parents aren’t ok with this. She defends the behavior by saying he’s a baby.

He’s 3 he’s not a baby - it was intentional- it wasn’t an accident.

BeefySenpie · M

@KaysHealingPath Most people would be pissed off but she can do what she wants, even if it is stupid parenting

I'd just stop hanging out with her

Classified · M

Maybe she can get professional help. You know those people who studied to raise the parents properly. 😅

SW-User

At this point, I would just let her deal with the problems herself and not worry about it. Not much you can do if she doesn't follow your advice anyway.
And did the kid get in trouble for doing that to you? She should at the very least not be allowing that kind of behaviour.

KaysHealingPath · 36-40, F

@SW-User nope. She’s defending it by saying “he’s just a baby”

No
Uh uh he’s not a baby he’s 3 and it was intentional.

Im seriously starting to dread hanging with her when she’s with her kids now.

Adult only outings going forward.

SW-User

Having a difficult child is really complicated.... 😔 Only people that have them know how is that 😕. I guess advice don't help much

KaysHealingPath · 36-40, F

@SW-User i have experience with difficult children.
Got my youngest into therapy when he was 2 so I could find a way to communicate with him.
He learned sign before he learned to speak. She and her husband both refuse to get their son the help he needs.

SW-User

@KaysHealingPath would be better to leave them deal with the problem and don't get involved at all. Every problem is different

SW-User

can't relate, my friends are asian

KaysHealingPath · 36-40, F

@SW-User she’s Mexican but I find this super difficult to believe. We don’t tolerate this much crap.

She defends it with “he’s just a baby”
Umm no he’s 3 and pissing on people when he’s angry and doesn’t get his way.

SW-User

@KaysHealingPath yeah that's unacceptable. she's not doing him any favours babying him like that.

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KaysHealingPath · 36-40, F

@SageAdvice i told her today
I feel bad because she probably thinks I’m attacking her with everything that’s happened recently but I have little tolerance for bullshit and excuses.

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MethDozer · M

I'd flip.

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