What advice would you give me...

So iv been close friends with this guy for about 7 months. I have feelings or him and basically he said likes me too but he is not ready for a relationship. So right now we are friends with benefits. I found it hard to be friends with benefits about 2 months ago so I cut him off after an argument and we didn't speak for 3 weeks. I found that really hard and I just didn't seem to be happy without being friends with him. I then apologised and we are close friends again, except we still kiss and stuff. The past 2/3 weeks I have just accepted being friends with benefits because I really don't want to lose him as a friend again (but we both find it hard to just chill without kissing/cuddling ect). Right now I feel is it as if I can be close friends with him (plus benefits) or not friends at all, because it is hard for me to hang out with him/have deep conversations and block out my feelings/affection for him. I cant wait for him to be ready for a relationship because that might be years, but I know I deserve better than to just be 'friend with benefits' (he is a really nice person don't get me wrong). I don't know what to do because I tried cutting him off and I thought that would help but I missed him as a friend so much.
What should I do?? x

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ABCDEF7 · M

You want commitment and he is not ready for that. Simply either accept him without commitment or find someone else that is good to go as per your expectations.

ABCDEF7 · M

Are you thinking you love him and it is not right/easy to leave him. But when you will find another good guy, you will also start loving him and enjoying his company. This is how our emotions work.

Best Wishes. :)

thatgirllllll · 26-30

@ABCDEF7 Yeah it is hard without any commitment and I know I deserve all of that which someone who was my boyfriend would give me. Its just annoying that it had to be a guy who is a very close friend to me. x

ABCDEF7 · M

@thatgirllllll Yes it's always been very difficult and painful to switch your deepest emotions from one person to another. But as you explained, it seems that now it will be difficult for you to live without a close friend, and that need will only increase with the time. You can try concentrating on career and other aspects of life, maybe it helps you to live without an emotional pain.

That's why in older days people used to look for commitment first before moving forward into any relationship. Otherwise it can become a emotional painful switch. But as you already have moved forward, you can once try convincing him for the commitment. Otherwise you have to bear the pain in switching. @Adaydreambeliever explained it very well, "..but one day, I just thought.. you will never be mine.. and that was it." Once you think this way, you will have to bear less pain in the switch.

Hugs and take care..

thatgirllllll · 26-30

@ABCDEF7 Yes you're right, this has already gone on for so long I think it will only be harder if I continue. And yeah I would also look for commitment before moving forward, except I had no idea I would have got feelings for him. I know i do not want to convince him for commitment because I should never have to convince someone to be with me. But i think I will have to think in the way @Adaydreambeliever has advised me to . thank you x

ABCDEF7 · M

@thatgirllllll Yes you shouldn't try convincing someone for the commitment. @Adaydreambeliever gave you really good advice.

All the best. !!

thatgirllllll · 26-30

@ABCDEF7 Thank you for your help! x