Nothing I hate more than people trying to indirectly imply that I need to socialize with them

Need.

And somehow it will fix something I am trying to address.

I told my friends my tachycardia is doing worse, and she told me that when I will be spending time with her and others, my health might improve.

What kind of self centered nonsense is that??

They need that. They need my presence. It makes THEIR life better. I don't need it. They want to spend time with me. It is their want.

I actually find many of the conversations draining. They don't have a ''point'. The beginning of the conversation doesn't match the conclusion and they burden me with so many details.. why do I need to know about your cousin's second cousin marrying a chick and then they said and that and bought this and that, and then when you said that , they said this and then five months later something something something which was in something....
......

.....
...
.
......

Why?

Why? Why?

Why all this data for hours???? 😭

I hate socializing, I hate how self centered people are.

The more humble and tolerant you get with people, the more they think they can say and do whatever around you.

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val70 · 56-60

I know that sentiment only too well. It's going on at my workplace too. I've been working at a public library for thirty years. Ten of them has been activities upon activities. No end of activities. Like if we should be scared that the public decides that they don't need us any more. Bully. If they close down my workplace I still have tenure. Sorry for the rant! I'm in a same sort of situation. It's like the walls of so-called being social are closing me in.

Miram · 31-35, F

@val70 it is so exhausting to keep up with aimless talks and the expectation of listening and entertaining and reading and processing feelings while also keeping it all shallow.

I like aloneness. Life is so short. You look back and 80% is spent trying not to get socially leeched to death.

val70 · 56-60

@Miram Yes, just think of the hours that one spends reading or even listening to Shakespeare against the many stupid social or work meetings, all activities rather to show off than to interest anyone to reading.

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Miram · 31-35, F

@Baybreeze

They feel threatened when you focus on your problems rather than their endless ramblings.

Boeing · 36-40

Not the right people Miram. There are the right people out there, and in a sense your friend is right, if you are in the presence of a good understanding and heart coherence, your health will improve. We tend to resonate with our environments.
But it sounds like your health is deteriorating being with said friend and circle, so you can let that go and make space for some peace, and maybe some real one person can arrive.

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Boeing · 36-40

@Miram you're right, my wrong assumption.
And you're doing lots of socializing at your job already. Well for me, being in a public environment as such is some sort of socializing already.

Miram · 31-35, F

@Boeing those are interesting thoughts. Probably why i feel super negative. Too much of it from work.

Boeing · 36-40

@Miram yes a lot of distress around you, it's a lot really.

Are you doing some protection prayer of some sorts? Or maybe taking little breaks in solitude to recharge now and then throughout the day. Like few minutes.

InfoTunaBotTheReturn

I'm with you on socialising. The older that I've got the more that I've realised that even in a room full of people I'm on my own. I'm in my own head. I don't connect, I don't want to connect. Only work can get me to be around other people these days and thank god they only want that about once a year. The rest of the time I'm happy that people are only an internet connection to me 😮‍💨

Quoththeraven

People only complicate shit. Solitude is the answer for healing. Solitude and laughter.

EldritchFox

I gave up. Many people have no concept of chronic issues/pain. I remember my friends getting so mad at me and taking it personally. I could be laying in bed crying in pain and nobody thought of the kindness I gave them and instead accused me of not wanting to be friends. And you know, after that, I didn't.

I literally took care of a woman and her kids several times a week while she went through cancer. I went to her house, cooked and cleaned. She beat it. And when I explained my issues and how I couldn't leave the house she was mad.

Yes they need us and as flattering as that might seem to be it's just one-sided. It's apathetic and rude. And they do it even after you've shown them the best a friend can possibly be.

I let them go. It's peaceful. Lonely, but less painful.

I'm sorry beautiful. You deserve someone to bring you tea and sit with you where you are comfortable and resting. Someone calm .

Baybreeze · 41-45, F

@EldritchFox It's baffling how really narcissistic many people truly are. They say in books, people out there are good, you're never alone etc. Maybe a SMALL percentage I'd say. Because the minute you actually yourself have an illness or feelings or a need, it's forget about it. And to me, it's just very sad 😔

EldritchFox

@Baybreeze I've come to learn all the talk about the good people out there is just talk. The good people are tired and hiding from the takers lol and lots of good people are still pretty selfish. It is sad, but something we have to face in order to keep being ourselves. And not end up like them.

Miram · 31-35, F

@EldritchFox You are sweet. We all deserve better than this self-absorbed desensitized nonsense. The more you give, the more people take it for granted and think you're invincible.

SnickersDOM · M

Dear Miram, please do anything you can to try to bring your tachycardia back within normal levels, if possible, please stay safe 🤗

I hope the fires, long hours, stress, and annoyances will level off for you soon, I wish you had a better situation that didn't do these things to your body and mind 🤗

It's very annoying when people try to manipulate you like that in general, but even moreso when they say bonkers unscientific things, which perhaps display in stark relief how little the really care, or at the least how deluded they are grrrr ... anyone who truly cares for you should try not to be so overbearing 🤗

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