my boyfriend is mad at me for this

He isn't mad at you,he's mad at himself for being the kind of guy who is okay with a friend who expressed the desire to be a rapist. He knows exactly why you said ew because that's how he felt at first,why else would he have fallen out with him? He was angered by his own reflection because he doesn't want to own the fact that he is okay with that kind of behaviour. If the law doesn't accept being drunk as an excuse to justify a crime why should you accept it? If the law is willing to hold people accountable for what they do drunk why shouldn't we? Bringing up your friend is a red herring. A logical fallacy that mentions something that isn't relevant to the argument at hand. The conversation had nothing to do with your friend,there is no comparison to be made because he didn't mention something she did that was the moral equivalent of his friend saying he should have raped someone. It's a bad faith argument designed to manipulate you into questioning your instinct.

I'll tell you this and please heed my warning, someone's friends are the reflection of their character. If he thinks that's okay to say then he will have no problem saying it too. That's the truth of his actions. Fuck what his words say because language is easily manipulated, our actions show our beliefs.

Instead of owning his decision he tried to gaslight you into thinking you were the wrong one when he himself felt it was "ew" to begin with,AS PROVEN BY HIS ACTIONS! Why is he all of a sudden making excuses? Why is he acting like you did something wrong?

1.HE IS GASLIGHTING YOU.
2. HE THINKS THERE IS NO PROBLEM IN A MAN SAYING HE WANTS TO RAPE A WOMAN.
3. HE THINKS BEING DRUNK IS A SUFFICIENT EXCUSE FOR DISGUSTING BEHAVIOUR.

4.RUN!!!!🏃‍♀🏃‍♀🏃‍♀🏃‍♀🏃‍♀🏃‍♀🏃‍♀🏃‍♂