I'm feeling a bit uneasy and almost panicky since an old friend contacted me again after several years.
I kind of feel like I'm not being a very good person for this. Maybe I should've never answered the text, but this person is someone I've always worried about and wondered if they're safe.
We'll call this person A.
Some background context: A is a friend I met as a teen, and they have a pretty troubled past and home life. They have some mental health issues and some slight mental disability, to where they're not really fully able to take care of themselves and tend to make some very questionable choices. They have a parent they've lived with during most of this time, but who has kicked them out a couple of times. This parent has always given me a bad feeling and is, in my opinion, extremely controlling and manipulative, extremely paranoid, and has also tried to isolate A over the years and has never liked any of their friends, including me. A's life has been full of drama and turmoil, partially because of this parent, and also partially because of their partners over the years, who have almost all been dangerous criminals or people who are otherwise bad news. I've distanced myself out of fear in the past due to this, which strained our friendship, but I felt unsafe around these people. It really created a lot of stress for me, and looking back, I notice how much chaos this friendship brought to my life.
Anyway, A is yet again estranged from their parent and has contacted me recently. They have a very high amount drama and turmoil going on (I don't want to give many details in case they or anyone they know are on here), and I've just felt a little uneasy and shaken ever since getting back into contact. I really want to be a supportive friend, and I've always still cared and worried about them over the years, which is what led to me answering their text. Perhaps it was a mistake. They're safe, but there is a lot of drama going on, and I can see things becoming chaotic again. I really, really don't want to be dragged into it again and I've been in a much better place in my life with peace I no longer want disturbed. I feel shitty for this, because I feel that it's not A's fault they have some mental health issues and disability that cause them to be in less control of their life, but at the same time, they notoriously make decisions that lead them to where they are, and it's very easy to get dragged down in it. A is not an easy person to talk out of anything and can get upset pretty easily. I feel the best I can do is lend a listening ear and try to just be there for them, but I can already feel that it's bringing tension into my life.
Another thing is that A has been notorious for not being truthful over the years, and a lot of what I'm being told already is not adding up. To be frank, it's really none of my business anyway, but there's something that makes me uneasy about it regardless. Like this could lead to some issues down the road.
I really hope I don't sound selfish or uncaring, and that I don't seem like a shitty and flaky friend. I really want to be there for people and help them in any way I can, but I've been in so many situations where people have dragged me down, and I'm scared of it happening again. Like I said, I can feel that my sense of peace is feeling disturbed again and that things already feel more chaotic just having talked again for a short time. I definitely don't want to desert or abandon them, but I know I'll have to set some strict limits on things. I used to have a lot of similar friends and my life was so stressful back then, and I feel like I've finally found my stride and don't want to take a big step backwards.
What would you do in this situation? Am I overthinking things, or do I have a reason to feel uneasy about this?
We'll call this person A.
Some background context: A is a friend I met as a teen, and they have a pretty troubled past and home life. They have some mental health issues and some slight mental disability, to where they're not really fully able to take care of themselves and tend to make some very questionable choices. They have a parent they've lived with during most of this time, but who has kicked them out a couple of times. This parent has always given me a bad feeling and is, in my opinion, extremely controlling and manipulative, extremely paranoid, and has also tried to isolate A over the years and has never liked any of their friends, including me. A's life has been full of drama and turmoil, partially because of this parent, and also partially because of their partners over the years, who have almost all been dangerous criminals or people who are otherwise bad news. I've distanced myself out of fear in the past due to this, which strained our friendship, but I felt unsafe around these people. It really created a lot of stress for me, and looking back, I notice how much chaos this friendship brought to my life.
Anyway, A is yet again estranged from their parent and has contacted me recently. They have a very high amount drama and turmoil going on (I don't want to give many details in case they or anyone they know are on here), and I've just felt a little uneasy and shaken ever since getting back into contact. I really want to be a supportive friend, and I've always still cared and worried about them over the years, which is what led to me answering their text. Perhaps it was a mistake. They're safe, but there is a lot of drama going on, and I can see things becoming chaotic again. I really, really don't want to be dragged into it again and I've been in a much better place in my life with peace I no longer want disturbed. I feel shitty for this, because I feel that it's not A's fault they have some mental health issues and disability that cause them to be in less control of their life, but at the same time, they notoriously make decisions that lead them to where they are, and it's very easy to get dragged down in it. A is not an easy person to talk out of anything and can get upset pretty easily. I feel the best I can do is lend a listening ear and try to just be there for them, but I can already feel that it's bringing tension into my life.
Another thing is that A has been notorious for not being truthful over the years, and a lot of what I'm being told already is not adding up. To be frank, it's really none of my business anyway, but there's something that makes me uneasy about it regardless. Like this could lead to some issues down the road.
I really hope I don't sound selfish or uncaring, and that I don't seem like a shitty and flaky friend. I really want to be there for people and help them in any way I can, but I've been in so many situations where people have dragged me down, and I'm scared of it happening again. Like I said, I can feel that my sense of peace is feeling disturbed again and that things already feel more chaotic just having talked again for a short time. I definitely don't want to desert or abandon them, but I know I'll have to set some strict limits on things. I used to have a lot of similar friends and my life was so stressful back then, and I feel like I've finally found my stride and don't want to take a big step backwards.
What would you do in this situation? Am I overthinking things, or do I have a reason to feel uneasy about this?
26-30, F
