I sometimes hate God, because my life is full of confusion... I never get what I really want, I feel like someone is controlling my life...

That's what religion does 🤷 It tries to simplify a complex world so the image doesn't fit reality anymore. Of course that's causing confusion. And I don't think I'll have to explain how following a book telling you how to live your life causes a feeling of someone else controlling that.

You have free will to control your own life. You're not a puppet. If you aren't satisfied with the way that things are going, change it!

Perhaps the problem is that your pinning your hatred on a well disputed story?

Hating myths is unproductive

Since you feel this way, someone IS controlling your life - Satan...