Squirrel brain and friends
I never knew how much my brain was on side roads compared to most people. Finally getting an ADD diagnosis helped a lot with seeing those side roads and I can begin to see how the mechanics of it causes stress and confusion for myself and people i interact with.
Too many thoughts at the same time leading to paralysis and ultimately the 'doom spiral'. Worries that I will say the wrong thing and over explaining myself to the point of exhaustion.
The awful habit of interjecting a story or comment into someone elses story. This isn't because I ignored the person or felt my take was better, it was because it felt to me like a great way to show I cared, was listening, and could relate (i didnt even know I was doing it so often).
So mostly I found it easier as a kid to not make friends. I had people I would hang out with and occasionally do things with but I was not on the first pick roster, so to speak. This never bothered me much as it was easier to slow the torrent of thought when I did things alone.
There are people I do care about and I am trying to figure things out as to how to reduce my bad traits. I can see when i start doing some things and can then dial them back so I do have some sucess but its a lot of effort still and I still get stuff wrong.
I want to work on listening more but often I go too far and listen (all while clamping down hard on me too-isms) that I dont ask questions. Mostly its because i feel like i am being intrusive. I have to find a good balance, I guess.
The part that makes me laugh is that normal people dont have to go through this much effort.
Too many thoughts at the same time leading to paralysis and ultimately the 'doom spiral'. Worries that I will say the wrong thing and over explaining myself to the point of exhaustion.
The awful habit of interjecting a story or comment into someone elses story. This isn't because I ignored the person or felt my take was better, it was because it felt to me like a great way to show I cared, was listening, and could relate (i didnt even know I was doing it so often).
So mostly I found it easier as a kid to not make friends. I had people I would hang out with and occasionally do things with but I was not on the first pick roster, so to speak. This never bothered me much as it was easier to slow the torrent of thought when I did things alone.
There are people I do care about and I am trying to figure things out as to how to reduce my bad traits. I can see when i start doing some things and can then dial them back so I do have some sucess but its a lot of effort still and I still get stuff wrong.
I want to work on listening more but often I go too far and listen (all while clamping down hard on me too-isms) that I dont ask questions. Mostly its because i feel like i am being intrusive. I have to find a good balance, I guess.
The part that makes me laugh is that normal people dont have to go through this much effort.
56-60, M
