For an old friend
Sometimes relationships end unexpectedly and we have to learn to make our peace with that as best we can. Other times you can see the writing on the wall and realize the best thing to do is just break it off and go our separate ways. Both are bound to leave an acrid taste in your mouth if you truly care about the other person.
For a long time you were all I really had. Taking the time to know and share with you brought a sense of comfort I still miss sometimes.
But over time our dark sides could no longer be contained. I spent a lot of my emotional bandwidth trying to figure out what I could do or say to help you as you battled your demons. All those years of watching your mental illnesses tear your spirit apart left me so desperate for a remedy that I ended up pushing you too far. I don't know what you needed, but the answer clearly wasn't me.
I wonder if you ever forgave me for my ignorance. I always keep wondering what I could've said or done differently, and I still don't know the answer. Guess I was just way too in over my head and should've left it alone. I simply hated seeing you continue to suffer.
I don't know if you're still around or not, but you know my profile, so on the chances you end up seeing this, just know that I hope you're doing better. These days all I really can do is hope. So I'll continue to hope you realize that I don't hold a grudge or think badly of you. I was always just trying to be your friend. I couldn't really understand how hard it was having to deal with the unrelenting intensity of your own thoughts.
For what it's worth, walking away was absolutely the right call. Not because I stopped caring or because I lost interest. I just had to do it for the sake of my own mental health.
I'll always still be silently rooting for you to pull through and hope as much as anyone else that you find your sense of peace and happiness in your life. Even if you're not where you want to be right now, a lot can happen in a year. Just remember to be kind to yourself
For a long time you were all I really had. Taking the time to know and share with you brought a sense of comfort I still miss sometimes.
But over time our dark sides could no longer be contained. I spent a lot of my emotional bandwidth trying to figure out what I could do or say to help you as you battled your demons. All those years of watching your mental illnesses tear your spirit apart left me so desperate for a remedy that I ended up pushing you too far. I don't know what you needed, but the answer clearly wasn't me.
I wonder if you ever forgave me for my ignorance. I always keep wondering what I could've said or done differently, and I still don't know the answer. Guess I was just way too in over my head and should've left it alone. I simply hated seeing you continue to suffer.
I don't know if you're still around or not, but you know my profile, so on the chances you end up seeing this, just know that I hope you're doing better. These days all I really can do is hope. So I'll continue to hope you realize that I don't hold a grudge or think badly of you. I was always just trying to be your friend. I couldn't really understand how hard it was having to deal with the unrelenting intensity of your own thoughts.
For what it's worth, walking away was absolutely the right call. Not because I stopped caring or because I lost interest. I just had to do it for the sake of my own mental health.
I'll always still be silently rooting for you to pull through and hope as much as anyone else that you find your sense of peace and happiness in your life. Even if you're not where you want to be right now, a lot can happen in a year. Just remember to be kind to yourself
31-35, M
