I seriously wish I had more self control ...
Whenever I get passionately involved in something , someone ...I lose complete grip , and whatever grounding I have gathered through aging , that makes me a great employee and parent , gets tossed in the dumpster ...
Take SW for instance , when first introduced to it, i was innnit full blind speed ,. I loved my new friends here and had to shower them with attention on every post , to make sure they knew that I cared , and was hanging on every word .... The real nefarious negative occurs when that same devotion is not reciprocated by those ai adore .... Mostly those who have been here since days of EP i have found .out eventually ...
It got so bad , that soon I had anxiety that I had lost touch or overstepped my boundaries ... Yadda yadda .... It got so bad that I had chose to leave it ...and for 3 months I did ...
Coming back , I wish to exercise self control ... I found new friends , but I kept cool as to not spill my load again and be stuck once again ... I did exactly that , and I have had to heavy hand myself .,,,
People here , one person moreso than any have noticed this about me , and in their good hearts advised me to take it slow .. Breathe , take breaks .. I know .... I really do , .. I am great at my job and parenting because of it ..
The reason I am writing this is as a reminder to myself , that if I am ever going to make strong social connections in the future , I need to put my passion and excitement for the newness of iy under quiet restraint and use as needed . .... To last .. And to take shape with grace ....
Take SW for instance , when first introduced to it, i was innnit full blind speed ,. I loved my new friends here and had to shower them with attention on every post , to make sure they knew that I cared , and was hanging on every word .... The real nefarious negative occurs when that same devotion is not reciprocated by those ai adore .... Mostly those who have been here since days of EP i have found .out eventually ...
It got so bad , that soon I had anxiety that I had lost touch or overstepped my boundaries ... Yadda yadda .... It got so bad that I had chose to leave it ...and for 3 months I did ...
Coming back , I wish to exercise self control ... I found new friends , but I kept cool as to not spill my load again and be stuck once again ... I did exactly that , and I have had to heavy hand myself .,,,
People here , one person moreso than any have noticed this about me , and in their good hearts advised me to take it slow .. Breathe , take breaks .. I know .... I really do , .. I am great at my job and parenting because of it ..
The reason I am writing this is as a reminder to myself , that if I am ever going to make strong social connections in the future , I need to put my passion and excitement for the newness of iy under quiet restraint and use as needed . .... To last .. And to take shape with grace ....
51-55, M
