Do you have to let it linger?

She has me wrapped around her finger. My whole life revolves around her and i cant get away. Ive recently realized how much of a bad friend and just bad person she is but im stuck. Things feel weird with her but neither of us are leaving because we cant. We are so intertwined with each other and if we fell apart so would our friend group. I hope she leaves me because at this point she doesnt even like me. I hear from my other friend all the things she says about me and its always complaints so, why does she stay? Why do i stay? I dont even know anymore. She ruined me. When we were young, she ruined me and i have never been the same. She made me forever insecure in our friendship and i lost my ability to make new friends. She traumatized me into being obsessed with her and needing to always be her favorite. She isnt my favorite and im not hers but i desperately need to be. I get jealous in a way where it just makes me hate myself. She tries to make me feel less than. She makes everyone feel unwanted. She thinks shes so great now but shes not. She hates me for changing. For being more myself than I've ever felt before. I hate that. I feel good and like my own person but shes mad i changed for the better. Shes mad im not the same mindless, awestruck follower i used to be. I need her gone. I need to bream free from her. Thays the only way I'll be truly happy. I think its a good idea but its gonna hurt like hell.