Have you ever had to let go of a friendship? How did you go about it?

He’s an old friend. We’ve been there for each other in the past, but recently he just keeps letting everything fall apart and then comes to me expecting me to clean it up. I guess because he thinks I have money and a house, I’m going to help him be responsible. Like he’s going to be homeless in a few weeks, and it’s really not his fault, but he won’t do anything about it. He has horrible mood swings that make it really difficult to be around him. He never laughs or jokes. He used to a bit before if I was being silly, but now it’s like he’s angry at me for being happy. Even though he knows what I went through to get well, he’s kinda vindictive and tries to bring me down. He’s mad I won’t let him move in with me, but he doesn’t work and he’s needy af so that’s a big hell no.

I wish I could help, but I feel like he’s gone. He’s overcome with all the emotions he never dealt with and I’ve been there, but he’s gonna have to find his own way. He wants everything to be easy. Or for me to do the work for him. I just can’t and I think it’s shitty of him to lay it on me. Kinda sick of him. Sick of his negative energy around my son and I.

I know ditching him rn would be the cruelest possible thing, but it feels like it’s run it’s course and being around him now just drags. It’s miserable.

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WillaKissing · 56-60, M

I see it like a pre-cancerous growth or cist that has to be removed so you can maintain a healthy body. You have to cut him out or it will ruin the place where you have gotten yourself to.

I had a service buddy that was discharged under mental health issues, and he went the exact same route your friend has went. Lost his home, wife, custody rights to his children, and began to live in a rundown RV. The RV quit working and he did not have the money to fix or repair it himself and he could not move it off of the parking lot he parked on. After several days the police were called by the business owner, and he got into a fight with the police; got arrested and his RV impounded. Once sentenced in jail he went into a mental hospital, and once released he began to drift around smoking pot that led to crack cocaine. I had a few phone conversations with him and thought I should take him into my home to help him out. His older brother a veteran like us warned me not too because he was threatening to kill everyone, so I did not extend the invite into my home. A few months later when the elderly man that did take him in went to work my friend hung himself in the apartment of the elderly man.

It is a terrible rabbit hole to watch a friend sink into, but you have to protect you and your son sweetheart.

RebelFox · 36-40, F

@WillaKissing Oh hun. I’m glad you didn’t get too invested in him. Some people just don’t have it in them to make their own life.

WillaKissing · 56-60, M

@RebelFox Amen, and guard yourself as well.