Sometimes I feel like I am an asshole.

Well, I think people are right, and nothing good comes from friends with benefits, and someone is eventually hurt. Apparently, she wants something more than that, and I cannot be in a relationship right now. She knows that, but I guess it's not that easy for either of us to be normal friends at this point.

A while ago, she said we have to be normal friends, and I agreed since I am starting to feel bad and guilty because of how she feels and what she wants from us. She came to my place some days ago to watch a movie together, but the next thing I knew, we were in bed. I don't even remember how it happened.

It's becoming like a cycle. There is some distance between us for some time, but we end up being FWB again after a while. I want it to stop. But I think the only way is we stop being friends, and it's not that easy.

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WhateverWorks · 36-40

It’s good that you’re willing to examine the situation and aware of the cycle. That said, maybe you guys need to decide to only be friends in public for quite a while. You guys have been in a certain Situationship mode for sometime. Where to change that dynamic you need to avoid all situations where you can slip back into dating behaviors it’s not inviting her over to your place anymore make it a private setting three guys might be tempted to go back into old habits. You gotta be more mindful of not being in close proximity when you hang out. When people date they’re much more touchy and close to each other then when you are just friends. You need to literally go back to the Friendzone. Meme is not texting each other so much Texting/calling each other anymore.

If You guys can’t do that then you need to take ‘zero contact space’ from the actual friendship for a while so that both of you have an opportunity to explore other connections. right now she’s hyper focused on you, hoping you will change your mind, continuously pulled back into the connection and potential of you.. The dopamine is you.

LookingForTheSummer · 31-35, M

@WhateverWorks Yes, it's become a cycle, and things won't change if something is not done. There will always be a slip, and since the other person doesn't reject, the same story happens repeatedly. I want to change that.
I was also thinking about it and thought it's better to not hang out in our places anymore and just be in public. That can be something for a start, I guess. And then maybe have more control over texts and calls. I'll see.

Thank you for your comment and help. Being reasonable as always.

WhateverWorks · 36-40

Glad to help. 😊 Yeah, I wouldn’t jump straight to not being friends anymore. I would give change of schema and being a little bit more cautious on hanging out for a while until people have had time to process their feelings as a start @LookingForTheSummer