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Would you lend money to family and friends?

The last few months have been really frustrating. Many people have been coming to me to borrow money. Mainly my brother and a friend. To be fair, when I lent them money in the past they paid it back. But it was small sums of money, I'm currently owed $985 and $700, it's been a couple of months now. They keep saying next week or this day, that day. But when the time comes.. nothing.
More people (3 people) have asked me to borrow money, sums between $100 - $400. I declined because I'm still waiting on those two payments. People know I have a good heart and often try and take advantage. After I get paid back, I'm going to be more careful about lending out money. After all I am also trying to get my fiancees together.
being · 36-40, F
I've lend my sister 500euro and she makes it ridiculous calling me to pass by her place to give me 50 or even 20 back because she just doesn't have the discipline to collect the whole amount and give it back to me. She makes me seem like a beggar while I was the one lending her. Just not a nice way to be treated.
Coppercoil · M
@being that's shitty.
being · 36-40, F
@Coppercoil yes it's a hard relationship that we share
WhateverWorks · 36-40
I hear you. It does sound like you’ve got a good plan though. It was smart of you to draw boundaries with the other people rather than overextend yourself and wise of you to decide not to lend those people large sums anymore in the future.

I only loan money to people who I know intensely dislike asking people for help and tie their integrity to not being indebted. Those are the kind of people who want to pay you back urgently because being indebted to people makes them feel lousy about themselves.
SW-User
I don't ever lend money
I just give it if i have it if i don't i don't give it
Roadsterrider · 56-60, M
I don't have a problem lending friends or family money, I never lend more than I can afford to lose though. If I don't get paid back, then that person is off the list of borrowers. I am not wealthy; I won't be taken advantage of. I will help when I can but not be a dooormat. I have a sister who believes that because I make more than her, I should share with her. Some people just feel that they can abuse a person.
HannibalMontanimal · 26-30, M
I just gave my dad $100 this morning for the inspection on the house. I definitely don't expect to get that money back. I've let people borrow more than that though like $400 and I never got it back so I don't let people borrow money anymore. If I have the extra money then yeah I'll do it. If it was some random person off the street though I probably wouldn't have gave that $100 over so easily but yeah
romper69 · 51-55, M
I'd lend family to friends for money
LadyJ · F
@romper69 so i could lend your brother for the right price?🤔..i need a gardener 😏
romper69 · 51-55, M
@LadyJ £15..I can't guarantee a good job done though 😁
CakeByTheOcean · 26-30, F
I’m neither a borrower or a lender.
probably, but I don't have much family and fewer friends. and for any of them to sink deep enough as to ask me for help, I'd know they were in some pretty dire straits.
eyeno · M
Family, yes - it doesnt matter if they Dont pay me back.
Friends, no - if I want to keep them as friends.
SW-User
Depends on the person asking
Keepitsimple · 51-55, F
Just family and my one best friend.
Fluffybull · F
No. Especially not family 😱
ViciDraco · 36-40, M
I paid my father's mortgage just last week. He wants to pay back, but I've told him to make sure he gets everything else caught up first.

My basic rule for lending money to friends and family is not about whether I think they will pay me back but rather in asking the question...

Is it okay if they do not pay me back?

If I can answer yes, then I will lend the money. If I get it back, that's amazing and I'm happy for it. If I can't, I won't be developing sour feelings and ruining my relationships over it.
butchd823 · 61-69, M
not just no,,but hell no
Starcrossed · 41-45, F
Nope. Mostly bc I'm broke.
LadyJ · F
Fukfacewillie · 56-60, M
You should never lend money to family, but it’s okay to give money to family.
SkeetSkeet · 100+, F
No. I did once and she never paid me back.
empanadas · 31-35, M
FeetAreFantastic · 41-45, M
Yes I have. But I only lend to those I know I can trust
empanadas · 31-35, M
Hell no, only my brother. He wouldn't accept it unless he really needs it. Cousins and everybody else they wouldn't stop asking. I just teach how to make it. If they don't listen then they can stay broke 🤷🏽‍♂️

 
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