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I would like to reconnect, but I failed them in the past

I’m scared. That’s the only way to put it.
I was dealing with a lot, not an excuse, and I became very withdrawn. So withdrawn I didn’t talk or hang out with my closest friends for years.
Then I moved states, never bid my goodbyes to them or anything.

What a crappy friend I made back then.
I want to give my apologies for me lacking, for my uncaring attitude I had while my friends went through their own trials and tribulations. I’m scared tho. I’m scared they’ll call me out for being the crappy friend I was, even though it’d be well deserved. I’d like to fix it, even though the damage is most likely irreparable. I’ve had 2 of those many friends reach out to me over the years, and they have only wished the best for me. That made (makes) me want to cry.
How have I elicited such positivity/support when I didn’t give any at the time when it meant the most.

I’m lucky, even if it’s not by the conventional standards, I was lucky to have those people by my side. I’ve learned lessons through all of this, and I’ve applied it to all my current and future friends. Yet that still doesn’t fix what I did in the past.
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Jenny1234 · 51-55, F
Let us know how it goes!!!
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