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I would like to reconnect, but I failed them in the past

I’m scared. That’s the only way to put it.
I was dealing with a lot, not an excuse, and I became very withdrawn. So withdrawn I didn’t talk or hang out with my closest friends for years.
Then I moved states, never bid my goodbyes to them or anything.

What a crappy friend I made back then.
I want to give my apologies for me lacking, for my uncaring attitude I had while my friends went through their own trials and tribulations. I’m scared tho. I’m scared they’ll call me out for being the crappy friend I was, even though it’d be well deserved. I’d like to fix it, even though the damage is most likely irreparable. I’ve had 2 of those many friends reach out to me over the years, and they have only wished the best for me. That made (makes) me want to cry.
How have I elicited such positivity/support when I didn’t give any at the time when it meant the most.

I’m lucky, even if it’s not by the conventional standards, I was lucky to have those people by my side. I’ve learned lessons through all of this, and I’ve applied it to all my current and future friends. Yet that still doesn’t fix what I did in the past.
Don’t beat yourself up anymore. What matters now is that you never forget friends again and I don’t think you will. You may not be able to reach out to all the friends you feel you have betrayed and hurt. they may not want to hear from you. some will and some its best not to contact because what’s done is done. be sure to reach out to those who still see your light and hold your heart. Those who Let you go and will never look back… maybe you can do something spiritually for yourself for them as a way of forgiving yourself and saying goodbye maybe next time you go for a walk pick up a leaf or a rock for each friend you wish you had respected more. Hold those symbolic items dear. Put them on a shelf put them in a frame, just put them in your heart’s mind and give yourself a break this is not something you should worry about anymore you’re a good person.
Eternity · 22-25, M
All you can do is lay it bare to them and hope that they forgive you; doing this, no matter how they respond, would be an enormously brave step towards becoming a more emotionally solid person.

It is easy to remain motionless under the weight of your own feelings; it takes strength in its purest form to lift up the dread and expose your vulnerable heart to the reality of how [i]others[/i] feel.

You will be better off no matter how this goes. Good luck.
it may not be too late. to reach out. it is good you saw your errors and have changed to evolve to a better self.
Good on ya! keep going!
Jenny1234 · 51-55, F
connect with them!

If they are truly your friends, they will understand when you explain to them what was going on with you
Jenny1234 · 51-55, F
Let us know how it goes!!!

 
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