Afraid to sleep early or else

It is safe to say that ever since my mother died/gotten sick (soon to be 3 years and I can’t believe it), I haven’t slept an entire night like I used to. Before that, I used to sleep the entire night and I didn’t even take melatonin. Ever since, I haven’t been able to sleep through the night (even with the help of melatonin which is something i knew only after this happened) and it just hasn’t been fixed since. Of course my sleep is not as bad as that time, I used to be awake most of the night, literally. But unfortunately, I never went back to normal. My new normal since then is that I have to wake up every night and most likely stay awake for an hour or two or more until I sleep back. I started postponing my sleep because I know if I sleep early, I won’t wake up early, but I will wake up at night.. which is bad because while i love the night, I am ALSO a morning person. I like to wake up early and get productive, but I have been failing to do that due to sleep interruptions and I wonder if I maybe need to just force myself to wake up early even if my sleep gets interrupted and whether this would fix it!