Stress makes me want to drink
I feel this need to share this but not with anyone in particular. Understanding, of course, that this oversimplifies something that is truly a struggle for many. But if it will help anyone at all, I found a solution that worked for me.
I love, adore, scotch and whiskey. But, as I said, I drink to cope and I don’t want to be ok with that. I’m in a lot of pain a lot of the time. I’m depressive and deal with the occasional manic episodes. I’ve buried a lot of trauma and anger in my lifetime. I don’t handle stress in a healthy manner at all. The smallest things can shove me over the edge.
My first instinct is that I want a drink. My son has a bottle of Jameson in the little break room kitchen area of our store. I see it, but the idea of it repulses me. I have absolutely no desire to drink. None, but it is the first place my brain goes to when I’m anxious and dreading the stress from having to work out a proper solution. I often joke that I need to drink more. I still do drink occasionally, and by occasionally I mean if I go have a cider with my husband. I can take it or leave it.
Years ago I was listening to a pastor talking about addiction and and he explained how he, or maybe someone he knew, I dont recall, quit smoking. Everytime he lit a cigarette, he thanked God for it.
Every time.
So thats what I started doing a few years ago. Every time I had a whiskey, I thanked God for it. I thanked him when I bought a bottle. I thanked him when I drank it. It wasnt quick, not overnight or something crazy like that. I don’t know when it happened. I quit drinking whiskey. I think about it briefly, but it’s a fleeting thought. I thank God for that too.
So moments like today when I just want a drink and go hide and pretend like I’ve got this figured out, I thank God for the whiskey and it passes. I still don’t know how to cope with what I’m feeling, but I’ll get that sorted one of these days.
I love, adore, scotch and whiskey. But, as I said, I drink to cope and I don’t want to be ok with that. I’m in a lot of pain a lot of the time. I’m depressive and deal with the occasional manic episodes. I’ve buried a lot of trauma and anger in my lifetime. I don’t handle stress in a healthy manner at all. The smallest things can shove me over the edge.
My first instinct is that I want a drink. My son has a bottle of Jameson in the little break room kitchen area of our store. I see it, but the idea of it repulses me. I have absolutely no desire to drink. None, but it is the first place my brain goes to when I’m anxious and dreading the stress from having to work out a proper solution. I often joke that I need to drink more. I still do drink occasionally, and by occasionally I mean if I go have a cider with my husband. I can take it or leave it.
Years ago I was listening to a pastor talking about addiction and and he explained how he, or maybe someone he knew, I dont recall, quit smoking. Everytime he lit a cigarette, he thanked God for it.
Every time.
So thats what I started doing a few years ago. Every time I had a whiskey, I thanked God for it. I thanked him when I bought a bottle. I thanked him when I drank it. It wasnt quick, not overnight or something crazy like that. I don’t know when it happened. I quit drinking whiskey. I think about it briefly, but it’s a fleeting thought. I thank God for that too.
So moments like today when I just want a drink and go hide and pretend like I’ve got this figured out, I thank God for the whiskey and it passes. I still don’t know how to cope with what I’m feeling, but I’ll get that sorted one of these days.
