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Are you a generous tipper?

I try my best to tip as much as possible. Having been in food service a number of years (owned and operated two smaller- scale restaurants) I know the hardships servers go through on a near daily basis.

People seem to be at their worst behavior when eating out complaining about things a server has no control over. When they head to the back to advise cooks of the complaints issued the verbal abuse continues all over again.From either a chef or owner.

The shift work is long and tasks go far beyond just serving food.

Customers frequently are already drunk when they come in making matters worse (both physically and mentally) and yet are expected to create a cheerful, happy environment.

Granted there are times the server is at fault, like everyone else they are human subject to human failings now and then.

Just some "food" for thought.

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Fernie · F Best Comment

I was brought up by waitresses, survived on my mother,s tips since the pay was 78 cents an hour for waitresses and spent a lot of time in a city diner as a kid so...yeah, big tipper

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Grateful4you · M

@Fernie I bet your mom brought a lot of comfort, smiles to weary truck drivers, families out for a rare treat, teenagers shyly sharing a malted, bet she had some great (and not so great stories Fernie)

Fernie · F

@Grateful4you she was adored by the customers...cops,politicians,city workers,criminals, hit men...I think that is why I am comfortable with all types of people.......THank you for BA!

Grateful4you · M

@Fernie Yes I'm sure this helped build your character and enhanced social skills. Never mind the guy who say's, "Just bringing my order to the table is their job" These people are clueless and don't realize the number of single moms trying to provide just a tiny quality of life earning money far below the poverty line. The worries and never having a sense of security. It's a never- ending fight for survival for most of them. Often both emotionally and physically painful.

Fernie · F

@Grateful4you You are so right...people don't really know what a hard job it is...lousy pay, demanding,rude customers (Just bringing my order to the table is their job]who look down on waiters and waitresses, on your feet all day schlepping food back and forth. I thought at 17, since my Mother and her two sisters all were waitresses at the same diner...that I would be a natural at it so i got a job at a different diner...started at 6 am...went out for a smoke at 8 a.m. and kept on walking to the bus stop...HORRIBLE JOB!!!!

SW-User

@Fernie It IS a horrible job! Your mother sounds like a great lady!!

Fernie · F

@SW-User She was Meow...until she got home...classic street angel/house devil..she was only happy at the diner

SW-User

@Fernie :( I am so sorry you had to grow up that way. You deserved so much better my friend.

Fernie · F

@SW-User Thanks for that Meow...I was at least successful at being the opposite of her...the poor miserable thing...I forgive her

Grateful4you · M

@Fernie A classic example Fernie. Sorry you went through all that but it's life learning how to survive the hard way. People with no empathy or understanding of what others have had to endure are just shallow, too bad for them in the long run.

SW-User

@Fernie You are a class act for doing so! 🤗

Fernie · F

@SW-User 🤗💖

Grateful4you · M

@Fernie I forgave mine as well, all my life I had a sense she was mentally ill. Now I understand.

Fernie · F

@Grateful4you I feel sad for people who are empathy challenged...I don't think you can be a happy person without empathy

SW-User

@Fernie 🤗 Love you so much Fern!

Fernie · F

@Grateful4you Yes! I have come to that conclusion too...my mother's violence and depression was definitely unstable behavior...now that we are grown and understand them better we MUST forgive them...for our sanity and peace of mind...otherwise, we might just as well be back there being hurt by them. I'm so glad you reached this point

Grateful4you · M

@Fernie Some folks call them the "Souless One's" apparently they are here for a purpose of what I'm not exactly sure, I only know my youth was hell at times. My mom even told me she never wanted children, she despised being "stuck" with children.

Fernie · F

@SW-User I absolutely love you right back Meow!!! and your little cat too!!!

SW-User

@Fernie 😂

Fernie · F

@Grateful4you You and I are peers...back then a LOT of people had babies for the wrong reasons ..mine sure did...then resented the kids...mine constantly told me between beatings that I was a big mistake. They can't hurt us anymore as long as we let them go by forgiving them. They can't have any more space in our heads

Grateful4you · M

@Fernie Over a decade ago my mom's Dr. called and said he needed to talk to me. (I braced myself for some really bad diagnosis) instead, he told me, "David I can no longer treat your mother, there is nothing physically wrong with her, she needs a psychiatrist as she is seriously insane" I started crying, the Dr. said "I know this is terribly upsetting. I told him I wasn't crying for sadness, I was crying because all my life I knew this and NO ONE would ever believe me.

Fernie · F

@Grateful4you THAT is INTENSE! That "seriously insane" thing was a bit much imo....I mean the way he expressed it. No one helped kids back then. You must have felt so alone and powerless

JupiterDreams · 31-35

I'm sorry to impose on your thread, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry for what you have all been through. 🤗 I'm glad you survived and could become good people despite what happened.

Grateful4you · M

@JupiterDreams Not an imposition at all it's an open thread you're welcome to post.

Fernie · F

@JupiterDreams That's very kind of you...thank you

Grateful4you · M

@Fernie The "Seriously insane" was because she had started self medicating on booze and drugs. Two things that had never been an issue. My mother was all about presenting herself as the perfect example of a "lady" of class and higher education, her social club ladies thought she was absolutely perfect!

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