Do you ever crap in your pants just to keep the flies off your burger?

Dave... take your burger inside and keep the door shut... and locked.

Do you? I'd have thought it would be easier just to eat the burger? So maybe the crapping the pants thing was just an excuse?

Would that work?

Can't say that I do. But aren't flies attracted to bad smells

Oddly......no.
Sounds like a sound theory though