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twistedrope · 26-30, M
Yeah I guess. I work very simply.
Buy it if I need it without hesitation.
Ongoing regular costs are not to be fretted over.
If there isn't an axe at my job hanging over my head as it is now with the restructure, use term deposits.
Otherwise... Hobby money... Try not spend over 100$ a month. :/ I mostly spend 0$ a month.
Buy it if I need it without hesitation.
Ongoing regular costs are not to be fretted over.
If there isn't an axe at my job hanging over my head as it is now with the restructure, use term deposits.
Otherwise... Hobby money... Try not spend over 100$ a month. :/ I mostly spend 0$ a month.
twistedrope · 26-30, M
@kimmy159 I've found it less painful as my hobbies are mostly free. I never have spending money because I generally don't spend or call it "Money to waste". I think behaviour of consumption breeds behaviour of consumption. Since I don't indulge, I don't feel the need to indulge but that takes years you know.
What I will say is I can always spend money on what I want but I'm not looking at expensive things or even not expensive things to buy because realistically I won't use it. I think that comes from living a full life though
What I will say is I can always spend money on what I want but I'm not looking at expensive things or even not expensive things to buy because realistically I won't use it. I think that comes from living a full life though
kimmy159 · F
@twistedrope
That’s very wise and insightful 😁 You’re right about it too 😁
Ads and companies rely on us as consumers to try and fill a void with most products, especially luxury ones. But that high from buying something nice is very temporarily and afterwards, we often feel like we didn’t need it at all.
Even though I know this, I still like buying nice things once in a while 😂 we also only live once and I save more money than I spend.
These days it’s more about trips with family though than buying things 😁
What kind of hobbies do you have? 😁
That’s very wise and insightful 😁 You’re right about it too 😁
Ads and companies rely on us as consumers to try and fill a void with most products, especially luxury ones. But that high from buying something nice is very temporarily and afterwards, we often feel like we didn’t need it at all.
Even though I know this, I still like buying nice things once in a while 😂 we also only live once and I save more money than I spend.
These days it’s more about trips with family though than buying things 😁
What kind of hobbies do you have? 😁
twistedrope · 26-30, M
@kimmy159 Thank you. I think... I don't pay attention to those who seek to profit off me. Corporations are a big one in that category.
I like... Rewatching movies, tv shows, games and reading many books. Classic books are cheap. Um... Exercising at home and talking. All relatively low cost with only a small start-up cost hobbies. Idea is to let hobbies make up my mental energy work steals away from me.
I like... Rewatching movies, tv shows, games and reading many books. Classic books are cheap. Um... Exercising at home and talking. All relatively low cost with only a small start-up cost hobbies. Idea is to let hobbies make up my mental energy work steals away from me.
kimmy159 · F
@twistedrope We pretty much keep a likewise mindset and type of hobbies then hehe 😁 I like (re)-watching movies and series too, reading books, writing my own books (unpublished, they’re just an outlet), I still play the Sims 4 on pc and just like spending time with people around me and family ^^
I find it difficult to recuperate my mental energy that gets lost on work though these days, even if my hobbies are particularly focused on relaxation 😭 any tips on that? 😁
I find it difficult to recuperate my mental energy that gets lost on work though these days, even if my hobbies are particularly focused on relaxation 😭 any tips on that? 😁
twistedrope · 26-30, M
@kimmy159 Hm... Work is... Complicated. There are some things I like to help steal back some control over the work drain...
1. Write out plans clearly as consise. This preserves your memory gauge. As the day goes on, you will be able to retain less memory over a period of time which is why written paper lets you not have to retain so much. Personally, I read business processes by John Jeston to learn to write processes. Repetition and project based.
2. I'm testing out one note in office web to dictate writings but I think it has a great effect to prevent hand strain from typing. There's no pride to be gained by typing out excessively v.v
3. Talking with people at work is hard. Its very hard and you have to say no sometimes. I say no more then I'm comfortable with. There are models of communication, I learned mine from a book on HR communication, my process knowledge helped me with establishing process ownership (Especially when it wasn't me) and asserting myself.
At home its different.
Home is where safety should be so as long as you feel safe, that's one positive. Maslows hierachy of needs is a great place. Safety, esteem, physiological needs, all that jazz. If you're missing one, your ability to enjoy stuff goes down the toilet imo. Personally, I enjoy models of living. Mans search for meaning (Viktor Frankl)... The Karamasov Brothers (Fyodor Dostoevsky).. What happened to you? (Dr Bruce Perry)...
Talking about the things I like also de-stresses me. Some people are emotional vampires but my two friends don't steal energy from me, we gain more by talking. It's a lot and I read one of your other posts. Life is a lot.
What I will say is that a lot of women I've met consider it difficult to put their own mask of kindness and caring down and be more reactive and show things like discomfort or assert when they don't like something. Like, for a friend of mine it is an extreme stress for her to say "I am not comfortable right now, I'm leaving." Where as I can say it and not worry about it cuz its the truth. This may be wrong, it's just a guess. But living in a way that hides a persons feelings may feel like a small sacrifice but it can ruin your enjoyment of things. It's basically burying feelings and burying feelings is a gateway to feeling less until you struggle to enjoy anything at all. Speaking from my experiences at least. But I may be wrong, its a shot in the dark.
Would it be something like that? I hope it helps a bit.
Imo when I was a kid, a woman who can speak up for herself and be very concise about it like 5 words then calmly wait for a response was my hero.
1. Write out plans clearly as consise. This preserves your memory gauge. As the day goes on, you will be able to retain less memory over a period of time which is why written paper lets you not have to retain so much. Personally, I read business processes by John Jeston to learn to write processes. Repetition and project based.
2. I'm testing out one note in office web to dictate writings but I think it has a great effect to prevent hand strain from typing. There's no pride to be gained by typing out excessively v.v
3. Talking with people at work is hard. Its very hard and you have to say no sometimes. I say no more then I'm comfortable with. There are models of communication, I learned mine from a book on HR communication, my process knowledge helped me with establishing process ownership (Especially when it wasn't me) and asserting myself.
At home its different.
Home is where safety should be so as long as you feel safe, that's one positive. Maslows hierachy of needs is a great place. Safety, esteem, physiological needs, all that jazz. If you're missing one, your ability to enjoy stuff goes down the toilet imo. Personally, I enjoy models of living. Mans search for meaning (Viktor Frankl)... The Karamasov Brothers (Fyodor Dostoevsky).. What happened to you? (Dr Bruce Perry)...
Talking about the things I like also de-stresses me. Some people are emotional vampires but my two friends don't steal energy from me, we gain more by talking. It's a lot and I read one of your other posts. Life is a lot.
What I will say is that a lot of women I've met consider it difficult to put their own mask of kindness and caring down and be more reactive and show things like discomfort or assert when they don't like something. Like, for a friend of mine it is an extreme stress for her to say "I am not comfortable right now, I'm leaving." Where as I can say it and not worry about it cuz its the truth. This may be wrong, it's just a guess. But living in a way that hides a persons feelings may feel like a small sacrifice but it can ruin your enjoyment of things. It's basically burying feelings and burying feelings is a gateway to feeling less until you struggle to enjoy anything at all. Speaking from my experiences at least. But I may be wrong, its a shot in the dark.
Would it be something like that? I hope it helps a bit.
Imo when I was a kid, a woman who can speak up for herself and be very concise about it like 5 words then calmly wait for a response was my hero.
kimmy159 · F
@twistedrope ahhh ~ I already had that pre-vibe of you being insightful but you hit it on the mark now too 😁
I should say, that I was like that in my early twenties (not being able to speak out or execute my wishes even if it offended people), but luckily I’ve worked on that a lot and things are different now.
Family are the tricky ones though because you’re emotionally attached 😁 I still often go over my boundaries (energy wise or what I’m willing to put up with) but that’s only in situations that require it at the moment. Recuperating from that takes more than just an hour of relaxation. But as we learn through experiences, I usually recognize that for myself.
Eg: today I took a random day off work after the Easter Holidays just to focus on what I want to do 😁
As for my work, I have a lot of responsibilities where I need to put boundaries or I would not survive there. More than 3 out of the 20 people have / had a burnout this year alone in the company. Yet even with these boundaries I often need to work 50ish hours per week to do everything. It’s getting better now that I have a good colleague to support but there are often still things he needs me for 😁 I’m left to a very free shedule though. I work whenever I want to, go to the office how little/much I please etc. But the job itself requires constant speed, tactics, strategy and quick thinking/decision making, reporting and future thinking, so it just takes a lot from me. Nonetheless, it taught me so much and made me grow as a person so I do enjoy it, and I get paid a great salary 🙈 can’t complain but balancing my energies with having an almost 6 year old smart mischievous kid is a challenge on its own hehe.
Thanks for the tips! I already implement a lot of them 😁 but I’ll check out the other ones! 😁
I should say, that I was like that in my early twenties (not being able to speak out or execute my wishes even if it offended people), but luckily I’ve worked on that a lot and things are different now.
Family are the tricky ones though because you’re emotionally attached 😁 I still often go over my boundaries (energy wise or what I’m willing to put up with) but that’s only in situations that require it at the moment. Recuperating from that takes more than just an hour of relaxation. But as we learn through experiences, I usually recognize that for myself.
Eg: today I took a random day off work after the Easter Holidays just to focus on what I want to do 😁
As for my work, I have a lot of responsibilities where I need to put boundaries or I would not survive there. More than 3 out of the 20 people have / had a burnout this year alone in the company. Yet even with these boundaries I often need to work 50ish hours per week to do everything. It’s getting better now that I have a good colleague to support but there are often still things he needs me for 😁 I’m left to a very free shedule though. I work whenever I want to, go to the office how little/much I please etc. But the job itself requires constant speed, tactics, strategy and quick thinking/decision making, reporting and future thinking, so it just takes a lot from me. Nonetheless, it taught me so much and made me grow as a person so I do enjoy it, and I get paid a great salary 🙈 can’t complain but balancing my energies with having an almost 6 year old smart mischievous kid is a challenge on its own hehe.
Thanks for the tips! I already implement a lot of them 😁 but I’ll check out the other ones! 😁
twistedrope · 26-30, M
@kimmy159 Thank you. It feels good in my heart that you feel my ideas are gud. It can be hard living in a way that seems almost alien to the people around me.
Differences in living give way to doubt. Steadfastness is a difficult thing to keep. You sound like you're doing a great job keeping with your family. Im sure you area role model professionally and personally. Hope it goes well.
Differences in living give way to doubt. Steadfastness is a difficult thing to keep. You sound like you're doing a great job keeping with your family. Im sure you area role model professionally and personally. Hope it goes well.
kimmy159 · F
@twistedrope That’s sweet of you to say 😁 I’m no role model, but I try my best to strive for that is more fitting perhaps 😁 Sometimes because everything requires so much of my time and energy, I’m not as patient or understanding as I perhaps should be. I also often drop household chores and just to nothing aside from work 😂 it doesn’t happen too often, but it’s been a couple of weeks of me feeling overwhelmed so I’m trying to restore my own energy first now before focusing on others 😁 especially that part is difficult with family.