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Ah life is wavy

So I got into shifus office and what would supposed to be a rewarding meeting between us turned into an awkward, totally out of sync experience. His computer even got the electricity in the air and suddenly shut down. I asked him if that happens frequently and he said no, that it was fine and now that I was there it just broke down.

He was preparing the paper stating I've frequented the martial arts academy, basically altering a previous student's paper. There was a part saying he was an excellent student and he said to me, you don't need this part. I asked him what he's thinking of me as a student and he didn't respond just making expressions and said he was joking. I asked something else and he said I should stop talking. Then I told him how he's only asking the female students to stop talking and he never talks to men like that.
I then asked him to add that I've studied massage and he was so unwilling, despite I've studied an hour each week for a whole year. Finally he added that as a general reference. Alright.

I hot pretty upset at how I handled that. I felt disempowered. I needed to speak for myself and I did it the best way possible. I'm never going to get this man's approval and why I'm so attached and struggling.
He doesn't have a good word to say about me. I'm so sorry.
He does talks rarely with pride about his male students but never about me.

And while I have grown and I understand that I am the only one needs to believe in me, it wouldn't hurt if I could get a word of encouragement from the teacher under whom I've been training for a year and living in the same place as well.
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Montanaman · M
It's amazing, how one's approval and encouragement can make a difference. And without that, we feel defeated and alone. Keep your head up because you've come a long way baby!👍👍😌🤗🤗❤️
being · 36-40, F
@Montanaman thank you so much! It's not just anyone's approval you know.. it's hard for me.
It triggers stuff
Montanaman · M
@being I realize that. You're very welcome and deserving 👍🤗🤗
being · 36-40, F
@Montanaman I am ... :).. once more, thank you 😊
SageWanderer · 70-79, M
So misogyny raises its ugly head again. The most important thing is you have accomplished much in this year. If nothing more I have noticed the growth in you and your confidence. Believe in yourself, no one has to validate you.
being · 36-40, F
@SageWanderer thank you my beloved one, I am in a good shape once more today. Falling and getting up and learning. But I had a lot to release..
SW-User
Would you like me to come over and have a word with him 😒



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SW-User
@being🤔
I’m good at 🤛 and running 🏃. lol
being · 36-40, F
@SW-User he can run but I'm not sure it's his best feature 🤭
SW-User
@being 📝. 👌. Haha
That's so sad and mean...
being · 36-40, F
@NerdyPotato it's so hard to see through one person's true intentions, that's what I see. And I need to improve in foreseeing. As well as, from where can I have expectations.

 
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