Ah life is wavy

So I got into shifus office and what would supposed to be a rewarding meeting between us turned into an awkward, totally out of sync experience. His computer even got the electricity in the air and suddenly shut down. I asked him if that happens frequently and he said no, that it was fine and now that I was there it just broke down.

He was preparing the paper stating I've frequented the martial arts academy, basically altering a previous student's paper. There was a part saying he was an excellent student and he said to me, you don't need this part. I asked him what he's thinking of me as a student and he didn't respond just making expressions and said he was joking. I asked something else and he said I should stop talking. Then I told him how he's only asking the female students to stop talking and he never talks to men like that.
I then asked him to add that I've studied massage and he was so unwilling, despite I've studied an hour each week for a whole year. Finally he added that as a general reference. Alright.

I hot pretty upset at how I handled that. I felt disempowered. I needed to speak for myself and I did it the best way possible. I'm never going to get this man's approval and why I'm so attached and struggling.
He doesn't have a good word to say about me. I'm so sorry.
He does talks rarely with pride about his male students but never about me.

And while I have grown and I understand that I am the only one needs to believe in me, it wouldn't hurt if I could get a word of encouragement from the teacher under whom I've been training for a year and living in the same place as well.