What do you wear on your wrists? Male and females

@HootyTheNightOwl It's gorgeous though...🥰

@Matt85 I have to be careful how deep I get, though... the slave mentality is unhealthy for me.

I prefered submissive mentality and wearing a collar better when I served in the lifestyle.

Now, I'd still like to wear a collar, for the comfort I get from it.

@HootyTheNightOwl Thats a hard mindset to break, but good for you on doing it. I understand not wanting anything that will remind you of that life and how...secure(?) it was.

@TallMtnMedic Breaking the slave mentality was pretty easy - but breaking the submissive mentality kicks my butt every day because it's been all I've ever known.

It's almost 4 years since I left the lifestyle and I still haven't kicked a lot of the old desires, urges and thought patterns. Fortunately, I have no desire to have a "dom" in my life now... that only took 2 abandonments and a host of insecurity about being abandoned again to fix that issue.

It also helps that I have my man to focus on, too... especially in my weaker moments when I thought I wanted another fake dom.

@HootyTheNightOwl The submissive part of me loved it, and yeah I miss it too.

@HootyTheNightOwl collars are nice, there’s so many to choose from, do you prefer dainty or a nice think leather one?

@SW-User What I wear has to be up to being grabbed - both by me and by him... so dainty wouldn't be a good fit for me.

The only collar I saw and fell in love with at first sight was a lined white leather with sapphires on it (I'm partial to a re-design of the stones now). I've really struggled with the idea of that, though... I know most people go more discreet than that and the public will likely not be as accepting - but, at the same time, I can't wear a wedding ring either (my hands swell up) so I need to find something that works for me.

@HootyTheNightOwl oh wow, that collar sounds beautiful! 😍

@SW-User It spoiled all the others in my mind the moment I saw it. It was just too good to simply be a play collar.

Even now, I would most likely have to go for a custom made collar, given that I have specific ideas of what I want. I've never seen anything remotely similar to that one since then.

@HootyTheNightOwl do it! Making a custom collar would be great, share a pic when you have it? I’d love to see it. I’m just getting into collars myself I have a thick black leather one. Hoping to get many more. ☺️

@SW-User I left the lifestyle four years ago - and financial abuse means that I don't have the funds to do it.

When I get away from here, I more than likely will end up doing it or something similar, though. I've never been able to fully escape the need to be collared and to wear a collar... I still keep reaching up to grab a collar that isn't there throughout the day - especially when my man is too busy to talk.

I just need that reminder of him.

@HootyTheNightOwl I’m so sorry you’ve been through some horrible experiences. 😞

I’m just getting into the lifestyle, well as a submissive anyway and I have yet to meet a partner, I’m being super cautious about it because there are so many abusers out there.

@SW-User I left the lifestyle in 2019 when I was abandoned for the second time at the start of the pandemic.

At the time, I didn't have the heart to start all over again with another Dom... though I had my eye on one in particular - but he wouldn't touch me on the rebound. I needed someone then and there. About 6 weeks later, my man found me in bad shape... but trying to pick myself up. He was great in terms of helping me to find my feet again and I decided that my time in the lifestyle is over for now.

Caution is a good thing to have when it comes to doms... and the odd slave pretending to be dom. Trust your gut, if it doesn't feel right - then it's not right for you.

@HootyTheNightOwl thank you for sharing.
Are you looking to go on your own for a little while then by open to meeting a new Dom?

@SW-User No... I fear that my time in the lifestyle is over now. My body just can't handle the stress of it anymore and I know that I'm unable to give a submissive the attention she would need.

I left for good and have been trying to desensitize myself to a lot of the things I typically responded to or replace it in other ways - though my man did give me some structure to my day, which I still follow to this day... mostly for comfort and the fact that I'm still learning from it.

At the moment, I have a lot of things that I need to work on, which sometimes helps to satisfy my submissive side, aside from the collar issue. That's unlikely to change in the next few decades of my life - so leaving the lifestyle wasn't a bad thing in that sense.

@HootyTheNightOwl I’m happy you’re putting yourself first, that’s fantastic. I’m here anytime you want to chat about anything. 🤗

@SW-User Being here has to be making me sicker more than it is helping me... So I need to make changes for both me now and future me.

I just wish I could have done a lot of this sooner than now and I feel bad that so many men, women and children are being failed by the system that is supposed to protect us.

@HootyTheNightOwl ya this site can be pretty toxic that’s why I block so many, it’s for my piece of mind and sanity. I know there’s so much evil out there, I just don’t need to see it because there’s not much I can do. 😞

@SW-User Another guy confused my man with soon to be ex the day before yesterday.

I blocked him after a while of his extreme views. Apparently, I deserve to be financially abused because of some sort of belief the dude had about my late mother - I think that he fell out of his tree and hit his head on every branch the whole way down!!! 🤣🤣🤣

@HootyTheNightOwl you absolutely do NOT deserve to be treated like that at all!! ☹️