I Fantasize About Being a Woman

Fantasizing... When I, as with a select group of people, fantasize about being a woman, I often times take a realistic approach to the entire subject. I don't picture myself as one of the girls that you would see on the cover of Cosmopolitan or any of those other magazines; no, I instead envision myself as my current equivalent. Instead of being a size four, I am a size 18, instead of having perfect features I am able to envision myself with minor flaws that don't take away from the beauty or mystique but add to it in a unique way that makes me who I am. This makes it seem a little more real, not just some far off day dream that does not seem unobtainable.
What helps? Having somebody else to help me envision what it would really be like, hearing it in their words as opposed to just mine. It makes a world of difference and makes the illusion all the more real. Thinking of it as real helps to envision it as real, even if you know that it is just an illusion, it helps to make the illusion more believable.

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amytheinvalid

Now that is what a true woman is.

Screw fantasy. Even if reality is destroying you (as it is me), being real is the only way to go.

violetxpanze · 41-45, T

Reality may try to destroy us, but it cannot succeed. I wake up, smile as best as I can, and apply a little bit of make up after I dust myself off. :)

amytheinvalid

It's already destroyed me, I am just a piece of meat that refuses to die. It's unfortunate, that society is to blame, but it's the truth.

violetxpanze · 41-45, T

I am sorry to hear that; it is unfortunate that society can do such a thing, but it is not unheard of.

amytheinvalid

Well, if only someone, a sweet and wonderful woman would come to my rescue, I could begin my recovery, but it's impossible in the toxic environment I live in now.

violetxpanze · 41-45, T

Wow, that really sucks. Is there any kind of light at the end of that tunnel you're in? Some hope in the future that your personal circumstances might change?

amytheinvalid

If there is, it's so far away that it is IMPOSSIBLE to see, and that is incredibly discouraging. Honestly, at this point, my future lies in a six-foot hole in the ground. But there is a lighter side to that: Eternal, well deserved peace, and to be back in the arms of my one and only, who was murdered in cold blood right in front of me; she died in my arms.

violetxpanze · 41-45, T

Losing somebody that means so much to you can be extremely hard to work past, and I do not mean to insult your intelligence by saying that, I am just speaking from experience. I lost some good friends through the years, of course that kind of thing does happen when in the service of your country. Moving past that loss is never easy, it took me a long time and through lots of booze (which was a mistake) to finally come to terms with the losses I've faced. The experience is never the same for any two people, so I can't really say just try to move past it, but I can say that coping eventually becomes bearable.

amytheinvalid

Not in my toxic living environment, from which there is only one other alternative: The street, and becoming a tranny whore.

If I were able, and allowed to move on, this would have happened already.

#Slave of the system and of society

violetxpanze · 41-45, T

Once again, I can't just turn and look the other way and say "it doesn't work that way" because the sad fact is that it does. I have seen the good and bad that society has done to not only the community but to itself. I wish you the best of luck and if you ever need to vent to anyone, you can send me a message here.

amytheinvalid

Thanks, but venting doesn't help in the long run, and I have explained what will for 100% certain.

So...well. I guess my choices are few, and not helpful.