Why can't I just prove myself?

Yesterday, my dad got me a lock, to lock up my bike, and then he asked why I wanted one so badly. I told him that I wanted to ride it to the library. He was a bit weird about it, and scared about the cars (since some parts of the road had no sidewalk), but he gave him.

Today, I actually rode my bike to the library and back. The thing is though, I came home with a tick (I got it off though). My dad then said, "That's what happens when you go outside. You bring ticks home." Now, he's upset (even though I got the tick off all on my own).

If it's not one thing, he has to make up something else to put me down. He's never supportive on anything I do. Everything that I do he points out something negative.

With my drawings, he asks, "why is the drawing so depressing? That's not healthy. Why not something more happy? Who asked you to draw this?" or "who told you to draw like this?"

I just can't do anything to please him, and prove to him that I can be responsible. It makes me upset and sad. I don't know what to do anymore.

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Arthur14 · 26-30, M

You know, I kinda know how do you feel. My dad always was the type of supportive guy,even if we have our differences. But if he is very openly to make me discover my only path, he's that kind of guy that pusses you to make the things, like entering in college or getting a job. This makes a lot a pressure on me. I used to feel like I needed to impress him, so I always tried to make good things to make him proud. But I lose a bit of myself in that process. I think I trying to say is, don't lose yourself for him. I don't know if that helps you though

SW-User

Don't you think these decisions about career were only for your benefit in the end?

BlackBloodDemon · 22-25

If there's one thing, it's that I'll never let him make me question myself on my dreams. I am very passionate on the things that I do, and if he can't accept that, then that's when I'll know who else to go to.

SW-User

@BlackBloodDemon: THATS DETERMINATION! YOURE SO STRONG. WAY STRONGER THAN I WAS YOUR AGE. And you'll make it through.

Arthur14 · 26-30, M

@sloth: yes I know. I know that he just want to help me, but honestly you really don't know how is the way that he does that. He begins to be excited about it. He makes me feel like I need to hurry up to don't lose the train. I because of this, I make a choice that now I have doubts about. And all this thing of be a good son and make him proud, or give myself a little bit of time and space to beginning to make my choices is really freaking me out

BlackBloodDemon · 22-25

@sloth: Seriously, sometimes I want to yell at him. Especially when I see him yelling at my mother (his wife) for nonsense reasons. He's hard on his wife and kids.

It baffles me the stories he told me about his father treating him as a kid. His father treated him with care, but there were times when he was like this. It makes you think how someone with a rough childhood is giving their children the same treatment. Why? If hated how your parents raised you, why raise your children in a similar, or the same, way?

Arthur14 · 26-30, M

@BlackBloodDemon: you seems like very focused. Nice! I wish I could be more like you. But I'm just lost in life, walking in circles like a fool

BlackBloodDemon · 22-25

@Arthur14: Oh, you don't want to be like me. There are many things wrong with me.

If you're confused, you should stop and think what you're going to do from now on. If you have someone to go to, go to them. They may help you. That's what I do when I'm in rock bottom.

Arthur14 · 26-30, M

@BlackBloodDemon: well, so I guess we are in the same broken boat. Just like all humans beings, we trying to get out of the bottom of the well and reach the sun.

SW-User

@BlackBloodDemon: wow. Your struggles seem a lot like mine. My dad is the same with my mom. But remember: if he's paying for your education, do NOT yell at him in even the maddest situations. Your mom wants to see you happy. Hence focus on the longterm. There's a reason she's still tolerant of a harsh man, and the reason is your betterment. So don't yell at him if he's paying.

BlackBloodDemon · 22-25

@sloth: Lol, he won't be paying for my college. My sister is currently in college, and she's living off of loans.

He may pay for some things here and there, but not all of it.