My kid's mom found out about my gf

She's upset with me now. When she dropped our daughter off this morning we had to have a whole conversation where she was crying.. At one point, she told me shit like "I still thought we could make it work but you went behind my back & moved on without me" & I had to tell her "yeah I thought the same thing at the beginning of this year. You knew I wanted to get our next home together & how happy I was that we both made good money now & we can actually get a bigger house & live comfortable for once. But you got your own place a whole month before you moved out. Didn't tell me until the day before you moved, & my nice ass still did 80% of the work for you to move everything into your apartment just because I knew you couldn't do it alone with your mom & grandparents. None of them could lift heavy stuff so I did ALL of that. Even though I didn't have to & it wasn't my home."

So to tell me about all your hopes for us going down the drain... Trust me I know how that feels. I went through that already. It's not my fault that you only want me when I decide I'm seriously done. All that effort I put in while we were still together was unappreciated. We work opposite schedules & every day that you worked, I asked you what you wanted to eat so I can make it for you. I asked what I can do for you once you got home. If you were upset I bent over backwards trying to make you feel okay again. I massaged you for multiple hours if you were sore to the point I got really good at it. Music, candles, oil, everything. None of it was ever appreciated. I couldn't even get a massage myself no matter how much I asked. But I still did that for you because I cared.

I feel so bad that she's hurt right now but at the same time... This is what she wanted 😞 it's not my fault I had to figure all this out on my own. You left me with no choice. It's not fair that you expect me to still want you back & tell me I chose someone else over our family. You can't put that guilt on me. Even though I do feel bad, I'm not gonna push someone else away over someone who never showed me the love I deserved. I already did that once. You still didn't want me after & I ruined things with someone who genuinely loved me at the time. Luckily I'm friends with that girl again now which is awesome because we've been close ever since we were 11 or 12. But it taught me not to make that mistake again. So again... Not my fault you did all this to me & put me in a place where I had to move on.

She even told me how she was gonna ask me to move in with her but then I told her I got my own apartment.. I told her well... I wasn't gonna move in with you anyway. Mainly because my name wasn't on that lease. I'm not putting myself in that position where if you decide you don't want me again, you could just kick me out & I gotta go back to my dad's. I'm a grown ass man & I felt so pathetic having to be at my dad's even for those few months while I saved up. To be a grown man & not be able to put a roof over your child's head really fucking sucks. I did what I had to do. It's not my fault all this happened.

I'm just glad I can be honest about all this with my lady & she's so understanding. Even SHE feels bad for my kids mom because she understands how she feels.. & of course I do too.. but we also know how WE feel & yeah it's just faaar too late for my kid's mom to keep telling me she still wants me.
Ending things wasn't MY choice. She got what she wanted. I guess I'm sorry I didn't stay getting strung along. Idk