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Big questions already

So last night my oldest whose 10 asked me and his dad a question I did not expect this young. Now remember I got pregnant at just 15 with him and he knows that. He also knows his dad was just 16. He asked us what would happen if he became a teen dad. I asked more about it finds out the older brother of one his close friends just found out hes about to be a dad. I wasn't sure what to tell him.

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HeatherFlorida · 36-40, F

Tough questions for someone that young. Not sure what to advise except tell your child that sex at that age isn't recommended. (I also got pregnant very young.)

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froggtongue · M

@Mountainlady16 I'm not sure that's such a great tactic. The new-to-be-father is close to his age I'm guessing and someone who's around him. You might need to consider more what to tell him so he doesn't also become a father so young. I'm not saying I'm for sure right. But from what I know it's the kids that have less knowledge about this stuff who most often get into situations like this. Were you knowledgeable in all this when you became a parent so young?

VeronicaJane

@Mountainlady16 if he waits to worry about later, then it might not be a rhetorical question then....

Mountainlady16 · 22-25, F

@VeronicaJane hes 10 he doesnt even have a gf at this age lets worry until like 13 for this

VeronicaJane

Tell him the truth. Not ideal and challenging. Not even done being a kid, and then you have one you're responsible for. But if it happens, the child could be wonderful.

Mountainlady16 · 22-25, F

@VeronicaJane well young parents arent exactly something he doesnt see alot where we live its still common

VeronicaJane

@Mountainlady16, grandparents at 36?

Mountainlady16 · 22-25, F

@VeronicaJane well if he did get a girl pregnant same age we got pregnant more like grandparents at 31

Alfred22 ·

Have him draft a typical day's schedule. He may, like his mom and dad did, want the structure that a baby insists on!

Richard65 · M

Lay out the annual financial cost of bringing up a child and then all the great activities and experiences he could be doing as a teenager. Then point out the fact that being a teenage father will likely stop him doing those wonderful things and will likely be a huge financial burden on him.

Lostpoet · M

Well it's a little too late to tell him to keep it in his pants. I hope he has good parents that will help him and his gf raise a kid.

Mountainlady16 · 22-25, F

@Lostpoet lol u misread that was from my son asking if he became a teen dad but that would be what me and my husband would do

Lostpoet · M

@Mountainlady16 You should tell your kid to wait, get an eduction, decent job, meet a happy woman, and then he can have a gazillion kids if that's what he wants.

Sequoia51 · 70-79, M

What does your 10 year old son know about Sex and his responsibilities and his role in Sexual Intercourse outside of marriage?

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froggtongue · M

@Sequoia51 Abstinence in this context doesn't mean no sex. It means you know about sex and promise yourself or someone that you will try not to have sex. Like you can abstain from sweets. But you might fail in your promise and eat anyway.

Maybe what's best is both. It's learning about what you need to so you don't get bad things happening but at the same time doing your best not to engage in sex. That's my take on it.

Sequoia51 · 70-79, M

@froggtongue I disagree. Abstinence is the practice of self-enforced restraint from indulging in bodily activities that are widely experienced as giving pleasure. Most frequently, the term refers to sexual abstinence, but it can also mean abstinence from alcohol, drugs, food, or other comforts.

froggtongue · M

@Sequoia51 I need to stop quick reactions. You're more right. And it also doesn't mean you need to know about sex to say you're not going to have any. Though I still think the best thing is both knowledge and to try to find other outlets.

Strictmichael75 · 61-69, M

Tell him about the responsibiliies of having children so yoing

AthrillatheHunt · 51-55, M

You could theoretically be a 20 something year old grand ma .

Mountainlady16 · 22-25, F

@AthrillatheHunt if he got a girl pregnant at 13 or 14 yes. but i could very well be a 30 something grandma. my mom was 32 when she became a grandma

AthrillatheHunt · 51-55, M

@Mountainlady16 God bless !

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