If I were to write a letter to my mom, coming out as a transman...

What should I write? How should I phrase things?

She's a manipulative narcissist with borderline personality disorder who threatens to delete herself when things don't go the way she wants. She also told me xmas 1,5 years ago she never wanted a son. Only daughters. As far as she knows she has 4 of those.

I'd love to not have her in my life anymore, but I'm too scared of her. I have avoidant personality disorder, but my sisters who don't have that are also scared of her, so...

Any help/tips is appreciated.

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ninalanyon · 61-69, T

The only thing I could suggest, not advise, is that you simply stay out of her way. But then you might have to sacrifice contact with your sisters, nieces, and nephews, etc.

LordBarbossa · 36-40, TNew

@ninalanyon that's another problem. Atleast as long as my gmaw is still alive (moms mom)

Lostpoet · M

Wait until you aren't dependent on her. And then just tell her politely that this is how you are and you don't want to hide yourself from her anymore.

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Lostpoet · M

@LordBarbossa Does she controll any aspect of your life? Just be honest she doesn't have to accept, but she does have to let you be yourself.

LordBarbossa · 36-40, TNew

@Lostpoet she has a way of being that'll force me to be compliant, even when I don't want to. It's hard to explain.

Lostpoet · M

@LordBarbossa I do understand I'd still tell her and then you have to hold your ground.

YoMomma · 41-45

Why would you tell her? Keep her in the dark. Phooey on her

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