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When I want to spend time with my 17 year old son, he get's angry at me for coming into his room, to spend time with him...Am I the toxic person for

making him angry? Invading in his own privacy? Trying to be that smothering mother, with a hug and a kiss on the cheek? A hand on his shoulder? Sometimes I don't have much to say and just like being in his pressence, but he hates that! I aggrivate him when I mean well. I don't want to neglect my kids, I want to spend time with them, but I forcing him to love me back and it's only stressing him out...I see that he is a very emotional young man, he is very easily excitable, and giggles and screams when excited, and he is very easily aggrivated get's mad at well me trying to be a mom! I went online and it basically said I was the toxic one on youtube because he doesn't love me, he doesn't reciprocate my affections, and I expect him to spend time with me and not get angry with me! Honestly I am confused I really don't know who is toxic or who is nice, I don't know who is right and who is wrong? I don't know what to do, I don't want to let him be, and neglect him! Maybe that's my insecurity and I need to let him go, he is almost a grown man! Any advice I love him, and I want to grind off those rough edges, so that he doesn't go out into the world so emotional don't get me wrong, I celebrate his easily excitable side, but not his easily angered side, and I've told him this... How do I give us the best start into adulthood? He does show respect twice a day though, he always thanks me for supper, and we both say goodnight I love you at bedtime! So score there!
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ArtieKat · M
Give him space to grow. I would have felt violated if my mother had done what you have, I'm afraid.
saintsong · 41-45, F
@ArtieKat Auntie Jessie was worse, she would force each of my kids to give her a hug and a kiss every time she came over!!! Kindof old school...She's in her 70's.... As for me I believe in natural human affection like christian kind of love, nothing innappropriate there just maybe it isn't age appropriate anymore?
ArtieKat · M
@saintsong I'm in my 70s too - I hated old aunts who wanted kisses. But that was over 60 years ago. Do you really need me to tell you that being a teenager is a stage of great physical and emotional upheaval? I'm a very tactile person too - but as an adult I can choose when, where and with whom it's appropriate.