Well he's done it

Been co parenting for 4 ish months to a 10 month old baby her dad want to do whatever he wants with no regards to her routine and keeps changing dates and tells me to cancel her plans for him. He's a first time dad and I have given him some slack but though court it has to be 3rd party visitations till he knows her and has confidence in himself that he can do look after her.

Any time I go to pick her up she's never fully dressed and he's always on his phone on two occasions he's not strapped her in and on his phone.
He the guy you would call a head worker likes to control everyone and everything and turn everyone against you and he has succeeded well in this that even my family worker says I need to cut him some slack.
We are in court again on 17th but he has applied to court for an emergency hearing as he is making up lies that I mentally and physically abusing my kids and making it out that I'm controlling everything yet I've asked him what days he has to work with and I've given times that work round babies schedule best. He isn't happy about anything and moans about everything.

I get it he's a first time dad but that shouldn't give him a right to twist everything and do whatever he wants and anytime I offer him help or if he asks advice he says I'm controling so we stopped most communication unless it's important information about our daughter and he still moans to don't communicate I've had to stop all visitations as he will not agree on anything and he's making demands and threats to my family.
I just don't understand how a guy can do so all about him when it's not about me or him it's what's in our daughters best interests and this definitely isn't what's best for her.
I really thought he would step up to be the dad that she needs but he's not stepping up at all.
He's just trying to control me again

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Quetzalcoatlus · 46-50, M

Broken homes are no good. Each parent has their own home to run and lives to live. Who you choose to have a kid with is the most important decision you’ll ever make. If you can, try to work it out with him and live together.

MiraRoss · 31-35, F

@Quetzalcoatlus your joking right we was only seeing each other a month and half. The pill did me dirty and condom broke up with him because of his constant controlling behaviour 4 weeks after braking up find out I was pregnant. I'd never try make it work it's on healthy at all

Quetzalcoatlus · 46-50, M

@MiraRoss If you live together at least you know where your kid is at all times and you can try to find a way to have a stable home. Living apart you have 0 control over his actions and no idea what your kid is exposed to when not in your house. He could be bringing very unstable people around your kid and you wouldn’t know. I know you’re not in love but there has to be something to grab on to if you had sex with him.

MiraRoss · 31-35, F

@Quetzalcoatlus and put me and my kids in an abusive house hold again. Your joking me right 13 years I've had to deal with abuse I'm not going back into another

Quetzalcoatlus · 46-50, M

@MiraRoss How was he abusive?

MiraRoss · 31-35, F

@Quetzalcoatlus to me or my baby.
He was always doing what I told him no too and say sorry he won't do again but he did and on occasion he has shouted my our baby girl and has been aggressive to her also

Quetzalcoatlus · 46-50, M

@MiraRoss Anger might be an issue but he sounds like a nightmare to share custody with. You will never change him if you’re not with him. It’ll only get worse, especially once he or you find new partners. When you are together he at least has an incentive to correct his behavior. When you’re apart why should he care?

MiraRoss · 31-35, F

@Quetzalcoatlus in court I'm not agreeing to any more visatations I'm not ruining her life for him no chance she's just a baby and he doesn't care for her at all

Quetzalcoatlus · 46-50, M

@MiraRoss Does he want custody?

MiraRoss · 31-35, F

@Quetzalcoatlus he wants to change who she lives with so yes

Quetzalcoatlus · 46-50, M

@MiraRoss As long as he wants custody and he’s not an obvious danger to the judge, he’ll get some custody. As he improves his status in life and makes more money, he’ll get more custody. That’s why I think it’s better just to live together sometimes. You avoid all of the court bills and you have more control. His incentive will be your ability to take half if you’re married. It’s a bad situation either way.

MiraRoss · 31-35, F

@Quetzalcoatlus so what your saying it's it's better to be in a bad relationship because it's better for who?

Quetzalcoatlus · 46-50, M

@MiraRoss The kid.

MiraRoss · 31-35, F

@Quetzalcoatlus but it's not good for her at all a toxic dad who only cares for himself and me putting her in hellsfire makes me a bad mum how does that benefit her in any way?

Quetzalcoatlus · 46-50, M

@MiraRoss He must care a bit if he is fighting for custody. Where is the father of your other kids?

MiraRoss · 31-35, F

@Quetzalcoatlus nothing adds up with him he spends more time on his phone than spending time with her he also takes no time to get to know her he never asks about her.my other kids have nothing to do with this situation

Quetzalcoatlus · 46-50, M

@MiraRoss If they’re in the same household they do. What is the situation with their father?

MiraRoss · 31-35, F

@Quetzalcoatlus he isn't involved

Quetzalcoatlus · 46-50, M

@MiraRoss Why not?

MiraRoss · 31-35, F

@Quetzalcoatlus because he abused us that's why