Narcissistic mother

I hope you don't live with your mother. You must distance yourself but I did want to add that narcissist's will never give you validation so please understand that and adjust to that. Your job is to take care of yourself and your family and love yourself enough not to allow her to control you. Narcissists know nothing about love. Love to them is nothing but control, so you cannot expect more. That's just what they do. That doesn't mean she doesn't love you but she doesn't understand what true love means and how to treat people right because her mind won't allow her. Her ego has taken over control.

I had the same. The best advice I can give you is to live your life and not allow her to make you feel guilty. Because this is her mental problem, not yours. If you allow her to make you feel bad over her bad decisions, then you will put your health in jeopardy and you cannot afford that, so please just live your life and if she says anything to upset you then teach her how you want to be treated. You can still love her but not allow her to abuse you. When she gets abusive like this, then you love yourself and you love her, but you stay your distance so that she can understand that she can't do that to you because even a friend wouldn't do that to you okay? You must take care of yourself, trust me. And if you're on the phone with her and she starts being abusive, you just say Mom I'm sorry I have to go now and then next time you don't answer the phone for a few times and if she does it again you repeat that and then she will get the message.

And whatever you do, do not even attempt to argue with your mother. Remember she's not thinking like you and there's no winning with people like that. So don't waste your efforts and get yourself upset. If you want to write me personally, please feel free to do so. I've gone through all this so I understand my dear.

Sometimes we long for something a person’s just not capable of giving. My tip….. acceptance.

You'll have to accept the fact, that acceptance and validation is something that you'll never get from a narcissist. They are just a lost cause.

If you live with her move out if you both are not disabled. It is what I did.

I can tell you, my Ma showed me love within 1 year of moving out; acceptance, encouragement, never criticised ONLY after moving out.

If you both do live separately then let it be. You were destined to be born in a Daughter/ mum toxic relationship. UNLESS someone here can help you or give tips.

I hate to brutal but by your age you should be making your own way in life. As others have commented, it is hardly likely that she will change - you need to come to terms with that and move on

My mom wants me to be on welfare, I know the feeling

I think the best is to be detached .

Very saddening. 😭😭

Stop expecting things from people who aren’t capable of giving them. You’ll only disappoint yourself. Remove yourself from the situation and only expect validation from yourself from now on

I'll be your online mother 👋🖤 Beware you're gonna have like 10 siblings-XD

@Creolequeen Do you live with her? Are you her caregiver or is she your caregiver?

Forget about her and lead your own life. You're old enough.

Walk out. Have a plan

and dont look back.

It’s really hard to grow up this way, I know. You need to stop seeking validation from her though because it’s never going to happen.

well that's kinda the issue right there, you are doing the same thing expecting different results, that's called insanity.