On parenting
What ways do you wish your parents had shown love or supported you as a teenager or young adult?
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CrazyMusicLover · 31-35
Maybe not treating crying as a nasty shameful disease you have to get rid of asap. (Any crying. Not just when someone is regularly overly dramatic.) Maybe showing a concern instead of asking: "are you bawling again?"
Also maybe taking a help of a psychologist into consideration and sending a message that it's okay to seek that kind of help instead of acting like everything is okay.
Also maybe taking a help of a psychologist into consideration and sending a message that it's okay to seek that kind of help instead of acting like everything is okay.
ZulXeroth · 31-35, M
@CrazyMusicLover This one is really important and I’m happy to see it posted here.
It makes a huge difference to ask what your child needs instead of berating them for crying or being upset, and it’s really important in helping them understand their own needs.
❤️
It makes a huge difference to ask what your child needs instead of berating them for crying or being upset, and it’s really important in helping them understand their own needs.
❤️
CrazyMusicLover · 31-35
@ZulXeroth One thing I will never understand is how does someone get angry or irritated when another person cries. I confess I don't deal with it well either as I'm not good at consoling and not a deeply caring kind of person to show genuine concern and will to help but I don't think I ever got irritated. After reading anonymous confessions on various sites and learning how different people think and feel about various interpersonal stuff, I kind of got the impression that this reaction is pretty much a red flag. If I ask myself why, I come to two explanations:
1) The person had to deal with a highly manipulative person and can't distinguish between crocodile tears and genuine tears and for some reason always assumes the person is just putting a show to manipulate them or solicit pity.
2) The person doesn't have normal emotional reactions and any or rare need to cry, therefore they judge others by themselves and assume every person who cries in fact manipulates because crying in their mind can't have any other purpose.
Maybe there are other explanations but that's what I picked from how some people with certain disorders claim to think.
1) The person had to deal with a highly manipulative person and can't distinguish between crocodile tears and genuine tears and for some reason always assumes the person is just putting a show to manipulate them or solicit pity.
2) The person doesn't have normal emotional reactions and any or rare need to cry, therefore they judge others by themselves and assume every person who cries in fact manipulates because crying in their mind can't have any other purpose.
Maybe there are other explanations but that's what I picked from how some people with certain disorders claim to think.
ZulXeroth · 31-35, M
@CrazyMusicLover #1 rings quite a loud bell for me, though I think the root issue there is trust.
As a child I was not raised in an environment where trust was intrinsic, and therefore did not learn to trust at all until rather recently. Certainly not an excuse for such awful behavior, but I think deeply seated trust issues come with a lot of baggage, and that’s something I’d never want for my child.
As a child I was not raised in an environment where trust was intrinsic, and therefore did not learn to trust at all until rather recently. Certainly not an excuse for such awful behavior, but I think deeply seated trust issues come with a lot of baggage, and that’s something I’d never want for my child.