Was your upbringing affected by generational trauma

My mother had realized at an early age what her own parents did wrong and she didn't do the same with us, I think once you realize how your parents have done what they could to break a cycle, that's when you forgive whatever mistake they made in the process, because it's way less than what they had to pay.

Yeah, my grandfather (fathers father was abusive) that passed down to my father. My brother and I suffered because of it. My fathers alcholism and abuse, led me to adopt alchohol as a coping mechanism. I dotn think i can ever forget, forgive, yes.

My brother has kids, he tries to be as gentle with them. I wouldnt be surprised if they turn out to be traumatized young adults/teens when they grow up. I really hope not.

Definitely. Part of me wonders to what extent that came from being related to slaves- my Grandpa's is still alive, and his grandmother was a slave. So it's a bit strange to think about how recently it was that slavery actually ended. So there's that to deal with on one side, while my mother's side comes from Cambodia when the Khmer Rouge regime was essentially committing genocide to create a 'master race'. And the trauma from that was directly passed down, since a good amount of my family who survived it are still alive. And the stories they have are truly horrific.

It doesn't make the trauma that was handed down easier to deal with, but at least knowing where it could have stemmed from makes it easier to understand and sympathize with those whom passed it down to me, rather than seeing them as evil villains. I can definitely understand how it may be hard to sympathize with others when you grew up in a world of 'do and sacrifice what you have to in order to feed and protect your family'. I think one of the best ways to overcome generational trauma is to realize that your parents did the best that they could with the coping skills they had, and that our job is to do better and better with each generation, while also recognizing and trying to work through that trauma.

Yes. I was angry with both my parents for a long time for their abuses and neglect, but I came to realize that they suffered worse abuses from their parents and grandparents. The way they saw it, they were never going to treat their kids the way they’d been treated. So they started the breaking of cycles the best that they knew how. They still got a lot wrong, but they tried and it mattered.

Yes. My father is a good man but was a functional alcoholic my entire childhood and sometimes would slip up with different pills. Self medicating after growing up in extreme poverty on a reservation with cruel parents.

My father's father was unkind to his mother, and he in turn was abusive to mine, which gave me deep traumas that I've only released a year ago. It affected my whole life.

No, there was none. I feel very lucky.

Omf yes

Yes. I'm convinced my mom has traumas she yet to this day refuses to seek help for. As a result she became abusive and emotionally neglecting. But I also know she targeted me and my little brother specifically because we have a strength she never will understand.

kinda? my father had the issue of anger with his father and step father and he just did it to me right away and i'm not sure i wouldn't to my child so i'll probably remain childless!

not at all. and it makes it harder to understand why am i becoming like this

Absolutely but I didn't pass it down. I broke the cycle. my children were loved unconditionally. they were my life

It was that way for me.

I dunno. I already had 5 stage of grief but i relapsed and I still feel hatred to some of them. My mind cannot grasped what is my purpose to born in this world.

Absolutely it was, and I’m very thankful to be tending my garden in fertile soil now instead of that toxic cesspool.

Definitely.

Very much so.

☹️

While growing and dealing with my negative childhood experiences I told everyone in person I forgive them.

I didn’t forgive, so much as I didn’t care much anymore. So it goes…

No but it is now by the shit going on and the way younger people think