Should I go to the funeral?
Um hi, first time here so I'm still finding my way around. Anyways, it's almost 2am here and i'm tired and stressed.
Tomorrow is my grandmother's funeral and I really really loved her and we were close but i dont know if i should even go. The problem is that my dad's girlfriend will be there (parents separated a few yrs ago and are now divorced) The thing is, yesterday i went to the wake and paid my respects. My dad had brought his gf and i guess it's confirmed that theyre together because her name was beside his on my grandmother's coffin. But what made me feel hurt was that he NEVER confirmed or informed us (my siblings and I) that they were together (even if we actually alreay knew). He just acts like nothing is wrong!! He even had that audacity to introduce her to us WITHOUT ASKING IF WE WERE OK. That really hurt me and that was heavy for my 12 year old sister. So when he did, I didnt even look at her. Im sorry, i dont want to be rude and i dont really want to hate her but i just feel terrible. I honestly never want to meet or even see her and i know it's quite immature. Another thing that hurt from the wake was that our dad just left us, his mourning kids, there with all these people we dont know and he was with his girlfriend most of the time. I mean i already felt sad about my grandmother's death but he just had to go and do that to make it worse.
So tomorrow (later? Since it's almost 2am now) is the funeral and i dont know if i should go. I do not want to see my dad's girlfriend again and i'm still hurting from a lot of things. My little sister feels the same too actually. But if i dont go, i feel guilty because it's my grandmother right? We were close and i really love her. I dont know what to do and i cant sleep. I feel so conflicted.
My mom says it's ok to not go. But won't people and my other relatives at the funeralthink it's bad? Also i don't want the last memory of my grandmother be her being buried. I want to remember her as i saw her at the wake; peaceful and smiling.
So in short, should I go to my grandmother's funeral but feel angry and terrible because of my dad and his girlfriend? Or not go because I feel too hurt but I'll end up feeling guilty?
I'm so sorry this is so long and personal but I'm so conflicted. Thanks for reading this whole thing.
Tomorrow is my grandmother's funeral and I really really loved her and we were close but i dont know if i should even go. The problem is that my dad's girlfriend will be there (parents separated a few yrs ago and are now divorced) The thing is, yesterday i went to the wake and paid my respects. My dad had brought his gf and i guess it's confirmed that theyre together because her name was beside his on my grandmother's coffin. But what made me feel hurt was that he NEVER confirmed or informed us (my siblings and I) that they were together (even if we actually alreay knew). He just acts like nothing is wrong!! He even had that audacity to introduce her to us WITHOUT ASKING IF WE WERE OK. That really hurt me and that was heavy for my 12 year old sister. So when he did, I didnt even look at her. Im sorry, i dont want to be rude and i dont really want to hate her but i just feel terrible. I honestly never want to meet or even see her and i know it's quite immature. Another thing that hurt from the wake was that our dad just left us, his mourning kids, there with all these people we dont know and he was with his girlfriend most of the time. I mean i already felt sad about my grandmother's death but he just had to go and do that to make it worse.
So tomorrow (later? Since it's almost 2am now) is the funeral and i dont know if i should go. I do not want to see my dad's girlfriend again and i'm still hurting from a lot of things. My little sister feels the same too actually. But if i dont go, i feel guilty because it's my grandmother right? We were close and i really love her. I dont know what to do and i cant sleep. I feel so conflicted.
My mom says it's ok to not go. But won't people and my other relatives at the funeralthink it's bad? Also i don't want the last memory of my grandmother be her being buried. I want to remember her as i saw her at the wake; peaceful and smiling.
So in short, should I go to my grandmother's funeral but feel angry and terrible because of my dad and his girlfriend? Or not go because I feel too hurt but I'll end up feeling guilty?
I'm so sorry this is so long and personal but I'm so conflicted. Thanks for reading this whole thing.
22-25, F
