This post may contain Mildly Adult content.
Mildly AdultAsking
Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

Is it ever reasonable to date a woman just so she can have kids?

I know her for quite a while now, and she waited until my graduation to tell me that she wanted to have kids some day. I've asked her before, but she said she preferred her job life. And now that I saw her fail one relationship after the other because she hardly gets to know these guys, I'd think "a stable man could not only support her but also raise kids with her".

Now it was her who gave up on me after I took almost 4 years for graduating and finding a career. I've seen parents with disabled kids, because either the mother or the father was in their late 30s. And because it's not her fault, I'd think about advising her into having kids rather now than later. In addition, I wonder how many men she talked to about having kids if she told me when we knew each other for over 3 years already.

Aside from a stable job, would it be a wise decision to offer fatherhood to her kids because there's likely noone else willing?
BlueVeins · 22-25
You shouldn't date a woman so she can have kids; if anything, you should date a woman so you can have kids. What we're talking about is a commitment the size of the fucking Sun, your happiness in this situation is incredibly important for both your sake and any future kids' sakes. There are plenty o' stable men out there who want kids, if she, herself is stable enough, she'll find someone who's willing to do it no matter what you do.

edit: I wouldn't advise unless explicitly asked, or if it becomes directly relevant to a conversation that she prompts.
Roadsterrider · 56-60, M
Are you okay with knowing that your children may be fatherless or raised by someone who doesn't care for them? Are you okay with the fact that once your name is on the birth certificate, there is a potential to be financially responsible for them for the next 20 years? It is possible that she could take legal action for support or if something happened to her that you could be saddled with the children to raise.

For me it would be a definite no.
SatanBurger · 36-40, FVIP
@Roadsterrider Yeah I'm sure there's ways to protect yourself if you want to be with a single mother but I'm not sure how. I've heard of prenups and stuff but I am not familiar with how to protect yourself while dating.. so I'll stay away from that.

I just know that it's a little leery she's specifically telling him she wants a father, bouncing around from relationship to relationship. It's a good idea to remind men that they can still get taken for child support if he decides not to be in her life.
Roadsterrider · 56-60, M
@SatanBurger Bouncing around from guy to guy indicates a little bit of crazy involved already. Sometimes a little crazy is fun, most of the time it is just more drama. I would avoid her totally.
SatanBurger · 36-40, FVIP
@Roadsterrider Exactly. The people I know who bounce around from relationship to relationship have emotional issues. Guys like them because they give them a roller coaster ride with their emotions but that's before the fun stops.
SatanBurger · 36-40, FVIP
You shouldn't be advising her regardless, if she goes through men like water and fails a lot of relationships, that's something internal and you being the therapist is not unlike a man who falls for that woman's bs then gets married, has children while she ends up leaving you off in a bad way. It's not a wise decision.
SatanBurger · 36-40, FVIP
@scooogy Not weak, she tugged on your heart strings but understand it for what it is.
scooogy · 31-35, MVIP
@SatanBurger so what is it?🧐
SatanBurger · 36-40, FVIP
@scooogy I'd probably refer to tallpowerhouseblonde's comments, they have it right.
tallpowerhouseblonde · 36-40, F
Run for your life.You will have to pay child support for the next 18 years.Once a woman approaches 30 and she has not had children yet wants them or cannot find her dream guy she will settle by "trading down."
You go into relationships for love not to satisfy someone else's goals.
tallpowerhouseblonde · 36-40, F
@scooogy That is her issue and not yours.The next one of her relationships to fail will be the one with you.A woman that dates the "bad guys" generally gets burned.She will look for the nice guy that can provide for her,give her a home and money.As soon as you have a child with her she has you by the balls and can take you for everything you have.
scooogy · 31-35, MVIP
@tallpowerhouseblonde
she has you by the balls and can take you for everything you have
and might just continue like before, right? 😕
tallpowerhouseblonde · 36-40, F
@scooogy For sure.There are a lot of good women out there.This one will treat you as an ATM machine.
SatanBurger · 36-40, FVIP
Also if you offer fatherhood to her kids, she could get you for child support and that's probably what will happen. It's happened to other men.
SW-User
I do not think this would be a wise move on your part. For many obvious reasons.

 
Post Comment