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My mother always brings my step dad everywhere is that normal ?

I’m almost 30 and my mother will not hang out with me without her husband my step parent. She brings him everywhere. She is able body to drive and more healthy than him, he’s like 400 lbs over weight on oxygen and he should be home resting. Sometimes I just want to hangout with her and do things with her but she always. She always said when I was in another state that she wanted a better relationship with me and wanted to do mother daughter things. She always put a man before her kids all my life. Sometimes I want to hangout with her and my son. Idk how to handle this because I think my mom wants me to say something so she can accuse me of starting things or drama. She acts like she is scared to face her children alone and she knows when he is around we don’t feel comfortable talking to her or saying personal things. I kinda don’t want to hangout with her anymore if I have to sit in the back seat like a child and be the 3rd wheel to her husband. I don’t have a problem with him at all but I feel like mothers and daughters should be close and do things and go on trips together with the grandkids but every time my mom is with me she has to rush and worry about her grown 10 years younger husband who is a weirdo.
DeluxedEdition · 26-30, F
i know this post is really old but everything about this screams domestic violence. how is she doing now? is she okay?
This message was deleted by its author.
DeluxedEdition · 26-30, F
@Loveallot12 my grandparents raised me.... i had come to a conclusion in my life that circumstances happen that are out of my control but it's up to me to do what I want from there. life is hard but its your life. be great. hugs
Interesting how something similar happened between my sister and mother. They'd been estranged from each other forever and rarely spoke due to past grievances, but when they did see each other my sister made sure her disabled and overweight boyfriend was there every time which really bothered my mother. Sort of like an chaperone.

Anyway, your situation seems a bit different and sounds more like she's afraid he may have an attack and she won't be there. You really should address this with her; the fact that you miss private time with her and are obviously uncomfortable about him. Good luck.
in10RjFox · M
She acts like she is scared to face her children alone and she knows when he is around we don’t feel comfortable talking to her or saying personal things.
An escapist who is unable to face reality describes her best. You see him as a burden, since he hasn't gelled with the family, and hence she is playing a dual act of treating him separately. Be upfront and ask for private outing.
I'm sorry 🤗 your mother should be less selfish and more attentive to you. She probably has low self esteem, thus it's wrong to make a random guy happy but not invest in your own daughter. That guy and her can be over but a daughter is forever
Loveallot12 · 26-30, F
My point exactly I am currently seperated and possibly divorceing. But I vowed to my sons that they will never wake up to a man in boxers in my home. I don’t want them to feel uncomfortable like I did all my life. Every single guys she brought home was a creep. She would literally cheat on one guy and bring the new man home the next day. @RadiantRuby]

 
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