My best friend keepings wanting to see or connect with her mom but her mom wants NOTHING to do with her and she gets hurt. What do I do?

If a parent doesn't call you, visit, or even make an effort to say, "Happy Birthday." to a child, should that person just cut all ties from that parent?
That's what my best friend told me what her mom did. She was heartbroken that her mom didn't wanna talk to her when she wanted to wish her a "Happy Mother's Day". She always has her hopes up when she thinks her mom will turn around. I feel so bad for her because she doesn't have a mother. I mean it's sad. What should I tell her?

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SW-User

just support her in her decision to keep her heart open toward her mother. she has to go through the steps to accepting reality, and it might be heartbreaking, at times. there's nothing to do or say.

LaurieKitKat94 · 31-35, F

@SW-User How she going to do that?

SW-User

@LaurieKitKat94 well, pretty much by getting her feelings hurt enough times to convince her that her mother doesn't love her the way she should. it's not an easy thing to accept.

LaurieKitKat94 · 31-35, F

@SW-User Wow that's kind of harsh. Well I guess of that's the only way for her to accept it, then she has no choice. I even told her her why waste time on the woman that didn't want her.

SW-User

@LaurieKitKat94 it is harsh, but telling her won't speed up the process, and might even slow it down. it's crazy. i went through the same thing. my therapist didn't tell me outright, and she warned my s.o. not to either, but i did finally figure it out. i was very quiet and sad for about three days in a row, as it truly dawned on me, and then my s.o. and therapist confirmed that it was true. my mother is a narcissist, and she only cares about herself.

LaurieKitKat94 · 31-35, F

@SW-User Wow that's sad. I'm so sorry. So she didn't tell you and she wanted you to learn for yourself right?

SW-User

@LaurieKitKat94 thanks.

yeah, she said it was important, and that it would have reinforced my defenses against accepting it, if she...or anyone else, tried to push me to it.

LaurieKitKat94 · 31-35, F

@SW-User ok