Why do most people try to keep me away from my mother?

My family and friends warned me about staying with my mother and how she only thinks of herself. She never calls, return calls, did drugs in the past and breaks promises. I always wanted my mother but she never wants me. My mom told me the real reason why she walked out on is. It's because I had a disability and she didn't want a disabled child. She said I was a mistake. I'm trying to make things work but it just didnt wrk out! I'll never get my mom to parent me. I want my mother!! I can't stay with her! I guess that's why my dad kept trying to keep me from my mother and he said I don't need her and she doesn't care about us.
I love mom but she doesn't love me as a daughter at all. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I'm going home Sunday morning. Should I give up on my mom? I can't even talk to her or look at her anymore.

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bijouxbroussard · F

Sounds like they’ve tried to keep you away because they didn’t want you to be deeply hurt. But based upon your posts you had to find out for yourself. Which is okay, sometimes we can’t believe something until [b]we[/b] see it for ourselves. You can’t make her into the mother she should’ve been to you. Your choices are to meet her where she is, limitations and all, or move on. Either way, none of it is [b]your[/b] fault or failing, it’s literally [b]her[/b], not you. Your only task is to make peace with the reality so you can live your life.

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bijouxbroussard · F

@EmptyGirl2001 I understand. But that wasn’t in the cards, unfortunately. Were there others in your family who stepped up, aunts, grandmother, etc. ? I don’t know how old you are, but part of growing up is seeing things for what they are. You can’t make her into the loving mother you deserved, that isn’t who she is. Your choices are accepting her, faults and all, with your eyes open (while protecting your heart) or if she’s too toxic, putting distance between you.

Expecting her to change risks your continuing to be disappointed and heartbroken. Envying your friends and wishing for what isn’t, wastes your time. And life is just too short.
Take another look at the people who were there and tried to protect you from the reality of the woman who gave birth to you and bailed.

In one of your posts you mention that she admitted why she left. So
you know the truth from her own mouth. Doesn’t necessarily make her a bad person, just a very [b]weak[/b] and irresponsible one. She gave you your life, but it’s [b]yours[/b] now, and you can choose not to let her destroy it. Honestly, you might consider counseling to make peace with this and put things in perspective. It couldn’t hurt. 🙁