Can having parents who argue all the time during my child hood (and now) affect me? and how?
I feel like although I ignored it a lot, it really got to me and changed me a lot
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PhoenixPhail · M
Yes, it absolutely can affect you, greatly.
It not only doesn't address your feelings in ways they need to be addressed to show your parents' healthy attachment to you, but it doesn't serve as a healthy reference for how to behave with others, especially in times of disagreement. Ignoring it and your feelings about it, will keep the effects of their arguing at bay, for a while. But the feelings will resurface later and get in the way of your relations with others. You may find yourself being more reactive than responsive - more defending and argumentative than accepting, even when agreeing to disagree is an option. Are you starting to see some of these effects in your relationships?
It not only doesn't address your feelings in ways they need to be addressed to show your parents' healthy attachment to you, but it doesn't serve as a healthy reference for how to behave with others, especially in times of disagreement. Ignoring it and your feelings about it, will keep the effects of their arguing at bay, for a while. But the feelings will resurface later and get in the way of your relations with others. You may find yourself being more reactive than responsive - more defending and argumentative than accepting, even when agreeing to disagree is an option. Are you starting to see some of these effects in your relationships?
SW-User
@PhoenixPhail I'm very quick to defend myself
PhoenixPhail · M
@SW-User You may want to do some "shadow work" to take a look at some of that shit you're packing around with you. It becomes a default operating system, and the more you use it, the tougher it is to get rid of. Let me know if you want to talk by PMing me.