How do I tell my son he is adopted

I was adopted. Since no one hid it from me, I never had to be "told" about it. I think it is not good to withhold that kind of information because it makes it appear that something is wrong about it. You have kept it a secret, probably to make him feel secure and not different from other kids. So now you have to decide what, if anything, to do about it.

Why now? You've kept it from him all these years. Is there some kind of reason he has to find out now?

In cases like this, the person doesn't need to know about it until the adoption papers are discovered after the death of the adoptive parents. Maybe you could consider just letting that happen. You could write a letter to your son and leave it with the family papers and documents for him to find someday.

Of course, in cases like this, it is often the case that your son already knows; these kinds of secrets are very hard to keep. Relatives who shouldn't talk about it do, or the adoptee overhears something, or a cousin gets mad while they're playing and shouts it out as an insult. In cases like this, someone nearly always tells the adoptee sooner or later. If you do decide to talk to him about it, it might surprise you that someone else got there first.