How do I tell my son he is adopted
I adopted my son when he was 2 months old and now he is 17 and I feel like that it time he knows but I don’t know how a friend of his died recently I just think it might to much for him
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SW-User
Kudos for adopting what ever the reason. That's a tough situation, without knowing your emotional relationship its hard to say. Hes probably hurting now because of his friend and may have been hurting awhile because hes adopted. Chances are he'll hurt again. Id go with @Adelh91 and give him some space for now on the adoption thing! Offer support over his friend.
greenmountaingal · 70-79, F
@SW-User People who adopt children are no better, nor worse, than any other parents. They do not deserve "kudos" as if they did the poor lowly child a special favor; they wanted/needed a child; the child wanted/needed parents. Most parents who bear children take good care of them. Most parents who adopt children take good care of them, too. Studies show no difference in quality of care between regular and adoptive parents. In other words, at least statistically, an adoptive parent is just as likely (or unlikely) to abuse a child as a regular parent. However, adoptive children find that they do not dare complain about abuse for fear of seeming "ungrateful" for being "taken in" by their parents. That is why it is better to assume that people who adopt children are just like other parents, not somehow morally superior or extra compassionate people.
I apologize for the lecture, but as someone who was adopted and suffered severe and extreme abuse, I just hate to hear automatic "kudos" handed out to adoptive parents just because they adopted. I remember how hard it was to consider complaining because everyone thinks adoptive parents are especially virtuous and loving. Unfortunately, as with other parents, it is not always the case. I am speaking in general terms, of course, having no reason to think anything is wrong in this particular case. Just a comment I felt I had to make about the general subject of adoptive parents.
I apologize for the lecture, but as someone who was adopted and suffered severe and extreme abuse, I just hate to hear automatic "kudos" handed out to adoptive parents just because they adopted. I remember how hard it was to consider complaining because everyone thinks adoptive parents are especially virtuous and loving. Unfortunately, as with other parents, it is not always the case. I am speaking in general terms, of course, having no reason to think anything is wrong in this particular case. Just a comment I felt I had to make about the general subject of adoptive parents.