Dad

Please go. Be as skeptical as you wish or you think wise. My dad left when I was 7. He told me a judge had decided that he was no longer my dad. Obviously he was bitter from the divorce but as a 7 year old , I heard “you are not good enough to be my son”. I wrote him a long letter when I was 30 and got a short reply. My kids grew up and one day I received a call that he was dead (heart attack). I went to the funeral and sat in the back and it hit me. I spent a lifetime focusing on his choices and how they hurt me when I was only one choice away from reconnecting. He would never have been a “great” dad but he would have known his amazing grandkids and it would have cost me nothing except getting rid of my bitterness.

He doesn’t deserve a visit from you young lady, but what will it cost you?

Maybe he could rather first make the effort of coming to visit you on your homeground where you feel comfortable.

You should cause you never know when your last chance will be you see him

Make him come visit you. Not the other way around. He’s the one that left anyways. You don’t owe him anything

It is always important to know what u want n what you don't want . They say " it's not that important to have a reason to love a person but it is very important to have strong reason to hate a person". I think I should visit ur dad n know his side of story . May be he was wrong but then again u have all the freedom to walk away from him . So my side of suggestion would be visit n know why he was absent when u needed him the most .

Oh so he has a 'Game plan' then !
Wasn't out of a desire to reconnect with his daughter or anything ?

Sounds either a cack-handed way to go about getting to know you or a 'hope' that if you go to college there he'll see you more often (if for no other reason than you'll be a 'poor'student)

don't go

I think you should go Allie!
Maybe take someone with you, in case things don't work out?
Tough call..but I would go.
Ask him to pay for the trip.
That might establish the difference between 'curiosity' and 'love'. 🤔

It's going to be like meeting a stranger, except more confusing and awkward, because with a stranger it's okay to just feel nothing. But in this case, pretty much no matter what either of you feel is awkward.

Don't have enough to give a better answer, but since anyone can die at anytime, I think you should visit him (especially if he is paying the bills) because you might regret not doing so later.

If there no real reason not to go, then go. He is your biological parent after all.

I love my dad. I would go just to see him

Hmmm
I wonder about guys like that 😩😩😩😩😩

Yikes. That's a l9ng time.

U should only go if ur comfortable. Don't pressure urself. At the very least, since he's been absent from ur life since u were 9, u deserve answers. Have u talked w/him lately?

Maybe make it a short visit to see if there's any connection I haven't seen my dad in over 20 years

I think the last message says it all, give him a chance to explain why and then take it from there.

Yes reconnect. My kids are the most important thing to me.

Is he sick

Are you talking to him, is there a reason he can't come to see you? i'd have a lot of questions i'd want answered before. it could work out really well for you tho, that's always a possibility too

What if’s can often bother us more than the oh wells. Most regret things not tried rather than things attempted but not going well. In the end you need to go with what you feel is right. Good luck

is there any update to this? wondering what you decided