Should a parent be allowed to look through their teenager's phone?

Poll - Total Votes: 28

Yes

You can only vote on one answer.

Personally, I think it's a total invasion of privacy that only teaches the kid, quite accurately, that they can't trust their parent, and that their parent doesn't trust them. I know from experience how damaging it is for a parent child relationship to lose it's trust.

I'm interested to hear other perspectives though, especially from parents.

EDIT 1: On the note of who's paying, it doesn't matter. Once you give the phone to the kid, it's either theirs, at which point they own it and it doesn't matter whether the money came from the parent, then child, or a damn alien, [i]they own the phone[/i]; or the phone is effectively on loan from the parent and so isn't owned by the teenager, which is just a [i]great [/i]way to teach your kid that you trust them. [i]Totally great[/i].

Talking about cost just dodges the moral question, and replaces it with one about ownership that is totally irrelevant.

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

MikeSp · 56-60, M

So far, 4 out of 5 parents agree that they should look through their teenager's phone. I agree completely for all the reasons stated. From our collective experiences raising children, we know that their brains are not yet fully developed, and that they make a lot of bad choices. Their executive decision-making skills are not yet equal to the harmful situations they can get themselves into, and their impulsive tendencies and susceptability to peer pressure don't help.

From a legal standpoint, parents are responsible for their childrens's behavior and actions, and can be held civilly and criminally liable. Parents need to know what and who their teens are involved with so they can prevent harm or even death. There is a flip side to this in your example of the 14 yo boy with homophobic parents. Parents cannot simply kick a minor out of their home without arranging a legally acceptable alternative for the child's safety, health, welfare, and education.

In my extended families here, we gave the kids flip phones starting at age 12 so we could call each other for safety and convenience. As they aged, we provided phones with more features. We used location and monitoring apps as needed. Their phones were checked daily in the beginning and we tapered off as they aged and proved they were responsible.

You obviously had some personally bad experiences with your parents and phones, but that doesn't mean that other parents actions are a "total invasion of privacy" or that they can't trust each other. You are looking at this issue from the perspective of your youth and relative lack of life experiences, and we understand and respect that. However, re-visit this thought when you have teenagers yourself and see if you still feel the same.