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Zsuzsanna1 · 41-45, F
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Physical discipline is not the same as physical abuse, though many blur the lines.
Different children respond to different stimulus, words and penalties for their behaviour may not be enough to educate a child.
Just make sure there is a very good reason to do it after all other methods failed and always with a calm mind, never out of frustration. The latter is what leads to abuse.
Different children respond to different stimulus, words and penalties for their behaviour may not be enough to educate a child.
Just make sure there is a very good reason to do it after all other methods failed and always with a calm mind, never out of frustration. The latter is what leads to abuse.
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SweetMae · 70-79, F
melbeacher · 56-60, M
beckychandler · F
Absolutely. Smacking (Spanking) has been observed by parents to be an effective parenting tool since forever!
It is only in the most recent times that the novel theories of the permissive parenting ideologues have begun to hold sway. Frankly, I think a lot of younger parents are beginning to think twice about the wisdom of the generations which brought us massive divorce , latchkey children, helicopter parenting, etc.
When I had my first child I went through a period of modern parenting -- but I began to see signs of the unhappy spoiled children I could never stand. I reverted and became my very wise mom (who resisted the zeitgeist of the age to the great benefit of my sister and I) and became my mom --I am strict and I spank!
It is only in the most recent times that the novel theories of the permissive parenting ideologues have begun to hold sway. Frankly, I think a lot of younger parents are beginning to think twice about the wisdom of the generations which brought us massive divorce , latchkey children, helicopter parenting, etc.
When I had my first child I went through a period of modern parenting -- but I began to see signs of the unhappy spoiled children I could never stand. I reverted and became my very wise mom (who resisted the zeitgeist of the age to the great benefit of my sister and I) and became my mom --I am strict and I spank!
Kathryn05 · 41-45, F
@beckychandler I've noticed the same thing Becky. Parents start out swearing they will never spank and will use all that "new" parenting advice then reality sets in and they see their kids turning out to be the brats they hated growing up. That makes them reconsider and perhaps the old ways were the best!
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Spare the rod spoil the child..Yes, I have spanked my kids when needed and I have very well behaved children..Even, now that they are teen..We don't spank now because they have gotten big enough to take away things that are important to them ,such as technology, for punishment..No, I don't think reasonable physical discipline is abuse..
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@WildHeart My kids know this saying very well too.🙂
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@Mrpauldavies We are lucky in that we homeschool our kids .The loss of technology isn't a problem for us..Most subjects we teach are offline..I am not sure I am a great mom ,but with 6 children ranging in age from 33-13 years old, I do have some practice..🙂
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Lol! 🤧 Some kids are feral .... wonder if they had been loved and nurtured enough when they should have been they may have perhaps been a more loving child..? Some people don't care about their kids, leave them to the streets like rag a muffins. By the time that child grows into double digits it's too late to undo what the shitty parent has done or in this case not bothered doing. @Longpatrol90
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Ew.... @Longpatrol90
Gingerbreadspice · F
ChefBrian · 41-45, M
I have never.. And will never.
Nothing she can do would constitute my smacking her.
I take stuff away when shes bad, I reward good behavior and she is the best behaved, best mannered kid of any we know.
Parents and teachers comment all the time on her behavior.
Hitting has a long lasting negative impact and think of the message.. Im angry with you, so I hit you. Teaching our kids to be bullies. That physical violence is ok. Girls are taught, its out of love.. Setting them up for abusive husbands who do it "Out of Love" Its proven to not work and I dont agree with it at all.
Nothing she can do would constitute my smacking her.
I take stuff away when shes bad, I reward good behavior and she is the best behaved, best mannered kid of any we know.
Parents and teachers comment all the time on her behavior.
Hitting has a long lasting negative impact and think of the message.. Im angry with you, so I hit you. Teaching our kids to be bullies. That physical violence is ok. Girls are taught, its out of love.. Setting them up for abusive husbands who do it "Out of Love" Its proven to not work and I dont agree with it at all.
Not needed. A child is there to teach the parent too.... seriously I learned a lot from my kids and through all the baby crying/toddler tantrums/teenage strops I knew holding back and taking away privileges was the best punishment. They would scream and yell and sometimes hurt me physically but as soon as I said right "no more treats/gadgets/meet up with friends/ pocket money.... they soon piped down 😂😂😂😂 lol. The longest I have grounded them for was a month and I stuck with it - I said if you disrespect me again I sell all your items on EBay. Lol soon sharp listened after that 😂😂😁🤧🤗
No. A swat on the bottom would be enough. Don't smack their face. Let the child know why they're getting disciplined and when they're done "thinking about it", you have that "can we have prevented this from happening & can we prevent this from happening again ".
I, personally, never went over 3 paddles on their bottoms. And I only had to spank them each four times in their teens. Had to, i'm a single mother
I, personally, never went over 3 paddles on their bottoms. And I only had to spank them each four times in their teens. Had to, i'm a single mother
@WildHeart it's okay. It won't scar him.
If you don't begin correcting his behavior (for good reason; not just spilling his cereal or silly things) then you'll save yourself from worse grief later.
But, you can't let his reaction to discipline be the end all either. You have to explain why he's getting a spank. Ask him what his reasoning for his bad behavior This way, he will begin to think about it before he does these things.
My children at their ages (19 & 16) have become more conscious about doing right & wrong before they do anything.
If you don't begin correcting his behavior (for good reason; not just spilling his cereal or silly things) then you'll save yourself from worse grief later.
But, you can't let his reaction to discipline be the end all either. You have to explain why he's getting a spank. Ask him what his reasoning for his bad behavior This way, he will begin to think about it before he does these things.
My children at their ages (19 & 16) have become more conscious about doing right & wrong before they do anything.
@WildHeart awww.. I know the frustration even more.
5 year olds are very reactive. They go off your energy.
Just be in control of your emotions so that he doesn't try to compete with you.
If he makes a mess, we've gotta get on our knees and show them how to clean it, how to put it away, how to turn it off, how to, how to. 😇
In the end, You'll know what to do with your baby. It's all trial by error. 😘
5 year olds are very reactive. They go off your energy.
Just be in control of your emotions so that he doesn't try to compete with you.
If he makes a mess, we've gotta get on our knees and show them how to clean it, how to put it away, how to turn it off, how to, how to. 😇
In the end, You'll know what to do with your baby. It's all trial by error. 😘
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AnukBinary · M
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Growing up, I've never been smacked but my siblings have been... and honestly I behaved mostly out of fear of getting smacked.
I have to admit that it was such a norm in the house that when my younger sister one time was being a brat, I smacked her - but I felt like garbage after that and never did it again.
Personally I don't believe that I would smack my child... I remember how I lived in fear of my father and I don't think I want my child to be that way with me.
I have to admit that it was such a norm in the house that when my younger sister one time was being a brat, I smacked her - but I felt like garbage after that and never did it again.
Personally I don't believe that I would smack my child... I remember how I lived in fear of my father and I don't think I want my child to be that way with me.
@SW-User this is very true. It creates fear more than anything. Yes the child "may not do it again" or "may respect you now" but it's only because they're afraid of you and sometimes that's not always the case sometimes the kid rebels. I think at a young age a pat on the bum to gain their attention is fine but once they can communicate other methods can be taken. It should also be done in moderation and shouldnt be your only form of discipline
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@Stark in addition, they stop doing what ever it is because they don't want to get smacked again - but there is no guarantee that they understand why they shouldn't, which really is a more concrete way to prevent recurring misbehaviour.
With that said, I really was a good girl - even now I'm very straightlaced, lol. Not sure how much of it was owed to how I was raised and how much of it was me.
With that said, I really was a good girl - even now I'm very straightlaced, lol. Not sure how much of it was owed to how I was raised and how much of it was me.
@SW-User that's true too. That's why communication is extremely important with children. You want them to understand why something is wrong and why they are not suppose to. It shouldn't be because "I said so." Or because "I'm the parent" that is actually one of the worst form of parenting is the "I say so" method. It's not teaching them anything they'll just grow up clueless. Tell them why it's not okay and if you do this at a young age and continue to do it they will understand and listen. But I do know it's not always black and white so it varies and I always was a good child too. Not out of fear though, but my parents always spoke to me and told me why not to do something even when in trouble they always maintain their anger. I always listen too after they told me not to do something and why 🤷♀️ So this method worked out well for me.
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Damn straight. Big difference between discipline and abuse. Time out is bullshit and does not help the child. Same theory as "participation trophies", I hate that shit.
I rarely "spanked" my kids, but when I did, they deserved it. We are very close now they are grown and they turned out well, I couldn't be more proud.
Don't coddle your kids, the world certainly won't!!
I rarely "spanked" my kids, but when I did, they deserved it. We are very close now they are grown and they turned out well, I couldn't be more proud.
Don't coddle your kids, the world certainly won't!!
SW-User
No. My father used the fear of pain to force me into subordination as a child. Sometimes over something as simple as a spill. Now that I'm older, I can recognize that it has genuinely affected my ability to have healthy relationships and I still flinch sometimes when someone gets too close to me because I am physically intimidated by people superior to me.
You don't have to threaten or hurt children to get them to listen and I would never treat my child that way.
You don't have to threaten or hurt children to get them to listen and I would never treat my child that way.
ChefBrian · 41-45, M
@SW-User
Wow.. No real surprise here.
Parents here seem to think that hitting is safe as long as it isnt excessive beating.
I think hitting as discipline stands out in childrens minds. And as you said can cause Post Traumatic Stress like Symptoms.
These same.people who think their kids listen are gonna wonder why their kids hate them when they are grown.
Wow.. No real surprise here.
Parents here seem to think that hitting is safe as long as it isnt excessive beating.
I think hitting as discipline stands out in childrens minds. And as you said can cause Post Traumatic Stress like Symptoms.
These same.people who think their kids listen are gonna wonder why their kids hate them when they are grown.
Brianthesnail · 56-60, M
ChefBrian · 41-45, M
@WildHeart
Some of what you say is fair. Im not judging you and your isolated event of a slap. Its the "Spankers" that all come out of the woodwork hapoy to gloat about spanking theor kids with belts, paddles and hairbrushes.
Parents lead by example.
How on earth do you tell your kid, Dont hit other kids, and expect them to listen when you hit them.
Youre teaching them that this is ok behavior.
Hitting people is alright.
Is that the message you want to send? I love you, so I hit you?
You posted and asked a question. I answered it. I wasnt calling YOU a child abuser for 1 event.
If you use this as constant punishment, then yes, I think its abuse. Its my opinion and I am entitled to it.
Some of what you say is fair. Im not judging you and your isolated event of a slap. Its the "Spankers" that all come out of the woodwork hapoy to gloat about spanking theor kids with belts, paddles and hairbrushes.
Parents lead by example.
How on earth do you tell your kid, Dont hit other kids, and expect them to listen when you hit them.
Youre teaching them that this is ok behavior.
Hitting people is alright.
Is that the message you want to send? I love you, so I hit you?
You posted and asked a question. I answered it. I wasnt calling YOU a child abuser for 1 event.
If you use this as constant punishment, then yes, I think its abuse. Its my opinion and I am entitled to it.
WildHeart · 41-45, F
@ChefBrian I hate violence, I would rather turn the other cheek than actually utter a word, I try to instill this in my kids in hopes that my teachings are adhered too. I am a mother to 3 kids. My son is the youngest, thus far raising him has been the most challenging especially since I am doing it all alone. I smacked his bottom once that was because I have put him in time out more times than I can count, I spoke to him over and over ( this usually works but not this time) I even took away his favourite play toys, he promised me he would never take money found in the house without asking my permission. He did it 3 times after I talked to him trying to explain how this is called stealing. By the 4th time I felt like he needed one smack across his bottom maybe then he would listen. To me it was painful, I cried like a baby. For him he just looked at me shocked at first then ignored me for an hour. Thereafter he said sorry and promised never to do it again. I still explained why I did it. No parent wants to see their child turn into a criminal.
Miram · 31-35, F
I am sorry but if you all have to hit kids to discipline them, then spanking have taught you nothing but violence.
Educate yourselves and break the cycle:
http://www.naturalchild.org/jan_hunt/tenreasons.html
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201309/research-spanking-it-s-bad-all-kids
Educate yourselves and break the cycle:
http://www.naturalchild.org/jan_hunt/tenreasons.html
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201309/research-spanking-it-s-bad-all-kids
NigelDoes · 56-60, M
No, but if I did, I wouldn't do punish them by causing them physical pain. I'm gonna whip the shit out of you with this belt buckle to show you how much I love you son.
Starcrossed · 41-45, F
summersong · F
Miajackson · 46-50, F
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IndependentGuy · M
No, but I'd let my child smack me a billion times if I ever had one. and I'm dead serious. I was abused by my parents, and after my experience all I can say is: let your child have his way. If your child wants to be the next f*cking Kim Jon Un: it's his own choice.
WildHeart · 41-45, F
@SW-User After writing this post I've come to realize that this is a very sensitive topic, perhaps I shouldn't have asked this question on a public platform.
FreeSpirit1 · 51-55, F
A slap on the hand is the most I ever did,it gets thier attention