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I asked for help.....

We had tea a little late as it took a lot longer than I’d hoped so it was gone 8pm
Gave baby her milk at 9 and tuck her up to bed and boom she was wide awake. My two year old was still up ( she don’t sleep on her own someone has to go up with her, it’s a working progress)
Boyfriend come in living room after watching videos on his laptop in kitchen and says “ it’s getting later and later there both being up” and I said I can’t put our two year old to bed till babies in bed. And after five minutes he says he’s going bed so he goes up about an hour later babies about ready for sleep so I take her up and he’s in bed watching a video. go back down and listen to monitor till baby is asleep ( they both sleep in same room, but I can’t take em up at same time as baby won’t fall asleep if I’m in room)
And now 11pm and I’m sat in there room waiting for two year old to fall asleep.

Must I ask him every time when he can see I need help with them like he could of tuck our two year old up to bed when he went up she was ready for sleep.

I’ve still got to clean kitchen and living room till I go bed.
Open your eyes man
Yeah, ask him for help. It's obvious he thinks it all your job. If you don't ask for help, the lightbulb moment just won't happen for this guy.
Mindful · 51-55, F
[@765845,MiraRoss] they are safer than you as far as COVID goes. I know a bus is not pleasant but people use to walk, ride horses, camels, wagons covered or uncovered for days. If you need help, a bus will be fine. Wear a mask
MiraRoss · 26-30, F
[@8567,Mindful] can’t afford two buses to my mums
Mindful · 51-55, F
[@765845,MiraRoss] so if you had the funds, would you go? Maybe he can help you pay for the buses? Since he can’t or won’t help with the kids. Tell him you need your moms help. You don’t have to “end” things right now.
ozgirl512 · 26-30, F
Yeah...I always thought parentship was a shared responsibility
MiraRoss · 26-30, F
[@912138,OogieBoogie] thank you for you help and support I really needed this
[@765845,MiraRoss] i hope he sees he needs to be more than a man ....he needs.ti be a father.

Hold your ground , your relationship needs balance and respect.
MiraRoss · 26-30, F
[@912138,OogieBoogie] I hope so too. In all honesty it be the third time we talk about this maybe it’s time to move on
DearAmbellina2113 · 41-45, F
Fuck that life. I'd drop his lazy ass like a hot potato. 🥔
MiraRoss · 26-30, F
[@831314,DearAmbellina2113] if only it was that easy
This message was deleted by its author.
MiraRoss · 26-30, F
[@1101786,FrosinStjarna] yeah I hear ya I have talked with him about helping out.

He does good for a bit then goes back to how he was
Elora · F
Just remember what you did and who you were to your babies when they have grown up ..... that’s something you will be proud of yourself for - he won’t.... his loss and his own worst enemy.

It is a privilege and a pleasure to raise children. Some people never get that chance/ opportunity.


Keep going 🦋
MiraRoss · 26-30, F
[@1136252,BeforeToday] yes our second baby was a gift so yes some people are lucky to get the chance of having a baby, but if he doesn’t want to be part of it then we must go our separate ways
Elora · F
Best wishes ♥️ [@765845,MiraRoss]
MiraRoss · 26-30, F
[@1136252,BeforeToday] thank you
Mindful · 51-55, F
A woman always has to ask for help. I’m so sorry. But it’s true. A man needs to be asked sweetly, and then you must express gratitude. Because you are grateful for his help. Life is harder without help. If that is all you can say, say it’s so much harder without your help.
[@8567,Mindful] Believe or not, some men step up. But usually they seem to be husbands, not boyfriends.
Mindful · 51-55, F
[@328496,bijouxbroussard] (my man does, I divorced the one who didn’t)
MiraRoss · 26-30, F
[@8567,Mindful] I do ask for help but it would be nice from time to time for him to notice. It takes two too tango not one
MistahJ · 26-30, M
Kind of crazy how often one comes across stuff like this. The father(?) not helping out with parenting. They say it takes a village to raise one child. Looking after them alone is rough work. Sorry he is putting you through that.

If you’ve talked to him about this repeatedly and he continues to leave you hanging, it’s time for therapy or ultimatums
rottenrobi · 51-55, F
I wish he would notice, but you have to tell him when you need help.
These are the most challenging times, when your babies are small. Two people makes all the difference.
You're doing great!
MiraRoss · 26-30, F
[@10399,rottenrobi] I do ask normally but some times it would be nice for him to notice.
rottenrobi · 51-55, F
[@765845,MiraRoss] Yeah, I know.. I wish you didn't have to ask as well, but you do. Don't be a martyr, and take it all on yourself. This will only lead to resentment and anger.
I dont know him or your situation, but as long as he isn't abusing you guys, he's trainable. Be diligent.
You've got this.
MiraRoss · 26-30, F
[@10399,rottenrobi] he doesn’t abuse me or kids he use to be great guy was just when we had our first kid like he didn’t really want one
Circa1947 · 70-79, M
He sounds like a douche.
MiraRoss · 26-30, F
He can be [@764319,Circa1947]
Penny · 41-45, F
oh man that seems tough. is there no way to put them in seperate sleep areas?
MiraRoss · 26-30, F
[@533101,Penny] baby is 9 months she sleeps great it the two year old that doesn’t sleep
Penny · 41-45, F
[@765845,MiraRoss] it makes it harder when they are in the same room. does the two year old cry or get out of bed?
MiraRoss · 26-30, F
[@533101,Penny] yes it does. When she wake up in the night she can do
JustcallmeNameless · 31-35, FVIP
Obviously he doesn't want to show any responsibility except to comment about it. What a dickhead.
Adstar · 51-55, M
You should be putting your two year old to bed at the right time and letting them fall to sleep any time they fall asleep.. You cannot afford the time to be the two year olds slave..
MiraRoss · 26-30, F
[@1086573,Adstar] yes I know I’ve tried many times but he just tells me it won’t work and oh she’s only two he uses her age about everything

 
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