I Am Not Very Close With My Relatives
I am not very close to my relatives. It might come down to the way I was raised; it might just be my inability to form connections to those around me. Who knows anymore at this point, right? Is it really such a strange situation?
It becomes more apparent by comparison. When I look at how others behave in a familial setting, it does make me wonder. I wouldn’t usually question my being distant towards family, but it became quite obvious when my stepmother joined the family. Her side of the family are extremely codependent… a concept I find very foreign. Yet, it is blatantly obvious that they interactions differ vastly to that of my side of the family.
They are all constantly in contact and communicating about EVERYTHING… nothing is too small a matter to inform the family of. However, my side of the family barely communicates. We message each other only when we have something definite to discuss and leave phone calls as an absolute last resort in case of emergency. Her side of the family takes absolutely every opportunity they can find to visit and see each other – mine leaves gatherings for special occasions and then only if it is absolutely necessary. These things made it rather clear that they have much more of an interest in each other than we do.
That being said; I don’t think that one approach is better than the other; they are simply different ways of doing it. They have a vested interest in each other’s lives – we do not. They have a close-knit support structure – we do not. But with our lack of contact also comes a lack of expectation. We don’t place the same expectations or requirements on each other. Our way just seems so much more honest… Being forward about our intentions instead of obscuring them with some mumbo jumbo about family values.
In conclusion; I may not be very close to my relatives, but I am satisfied with the relationship being as it is. I like only seeing them once in a blue moon. I like them not knowing the details of my life just as I like not knowing the details of theirs. I like keeping them at a distance. This might not necessarily be the common approach, but it is the approach I prefer.
It becomes more apparent by comparison. When I look at how others behave in a familial setting, it does make me wonder. I wouldn’t usually question my being distant towards family, but it became quite obvious when my stepmother joined the family. Her side of the family are extremely codependent… a concept I find very foreign. Yet, it is blatantly obvious that they interactions differ vastly to that of my side of the family.
They are all constantly in contact and communicating about EVERYTHING… nothing is too small a matter to inform the family of. However, my side of the family barely communicates. We message each other only when we have something definite to discuss and leave phone calls as an absolute last resort in case of emergency. Her side of the family takes absolutely every opportunity they can find to visit and see each other – mine leaves gatherings for special occasions and then only if it is absolutely necessary. These things made it rather clear that they have much more of an interest in each other than we do.
That being said; I don’t think that one approach is better than the other; they are simply different ways of doing it. They have a vested interest in each other’s lives – we do not. They have a close-knit support structure – we do not. But with our lack of contact also comes a lack of expectation. We don’t place the same expectations or requirements on each other. Our way just seems so much more honest… Being forward about our intentions instead of obscuring them with some mumbo jumbo about family values.
In conclusion; I may not be very close to my relatives, but I am satisfied with the relationship being as it is. I like only seeing them once in a blue moon. I like them not knowing the details of my life just as I like not knowing the details of theirs. I like keeping them at a distance. This might not necessarily be the common approach, but it is the approach I prefer.
