5 Year Anniversary

It was 5 years ago today when my mother passed… a good 15 (or more) years past when the doctors predicted. I still miss her, but there was also some unresolved trauma l, some baggage, leftover from childhood. I should have brought it up and gotten some closure but I didn’t want to burden her with things she’d likely forgotten. Most of the time, I don’t think about her or dwell on things. But apparently not on the anniversary.

Somehow, my father is always able to see the positive, so rather than dwelling on the fact that she’s no longer here, he reminisces about their life together and all the good times they had. I tend to fight her pessimistic qualities in my brain, but I hope if I lose my partner, that I’m able to have that same positivity.

Top | Newest First | Oldest First

JimboSaturn · 51-55, M

I have learnt after many years for forgive my mother. I think she did the best that she could at the time and was imperfect as I am. Why did I hold her to a higher standard?

NewRaven · 51-55, F

@JimboSaturn not really holding her to a higher standard, more a lingering question of why.

JimboSaturn · 51-55, M

@NewRaven No that was just me holding my mother to a higher standard.

Beth9911 · 41-45, F

I have the same unresolved issues with my dad. Anniversaries are tough on those like me who can dwell on these 'what could have been' kinda moments. Let's keep fighting pessimism and stay as positive as we can. Sending hugs 🙂

SW-User

I just lost mine this year and my dad last year. I'm thinking the holidays this year will feel very strange. We had a love/hate relationship, and I both miss them and feel relieved in probably equal measure.

NewRaven · 51-55, F

@SW-User I totally understand that equal measure concept.

SW-User

@NewRaven Yes, it's a strange mix of grief and freedom from abuse. They were lovely people in many ways, but there's no getting around the fact that Mum was a narcissist and Dad enabled her.