From the day as a child that I first realized sunflowers were my mother’s favorite flower, I tried to make sure there were some on her table as often as I could afford or find them. Many bouquets, or single, huge flowers, placed in her hands. Her eyes would always light up, and she’d say the same thing, "These are just perfect !" 🌻🌻🌻
During the last few months while she was in the care facility, I would present her with a single sunflower. She would smile, clapping her hands like a child. The last day that she recognized me, I brought a bouquet; she was sitting in bed, expressionless, not speaking. She saw the flowers, her eyes lit up ever so briefly, with a hint of a smile, then were expressionless again. I put the flowers in a vase on a table and sat with her. 🌻
At the funeral, everyone had sent wreaths of sunflowers. It broke my heart, because I thought, "but she can’t enjoy them now !" 😞 Later, I was sitting with my sisters and said, "I may be able to visit where she rests, but I don’t think I’ll ever take sunflowers. You can do what you want, but it’s too hard knowing that she won’t be able to enjoy them." My sisters hugged me, the younger said "She’s not there." "That’s the point," I explained. "I’ll bring flowers, because it’s the custom. But sunflowers were for her, especially. And she’s not there." R.I.P., Maman.
That was beautiful. I understand. My mother also loved sunflowers and hummingbirds. That was the last paintings I had done for her. Just some sunflowers and another of a hummingbird. Now I can't do either anymore
Trust me your mother is there in spirit and knows and sees these sunflowers. I have always been able to sense and see spirits. You might find comfort in the YouTube channel ‘Heaven awaits’ https://www.youtube.com/@heavenawaits/videos Or the other side https://www.youtube.com/@TheOtherSideNDEYT/videos
It’s changed everything I know about death. I hope you are okay and I think it’s great you wrote about this and wrote it so well, that’s very cathartic, you might want to get a journal and a mug of tea, put on your cosiest sweater and look up journal prompts for grief.
Years ago, driving across North Dakota, I witnessed fields and fields of sunflowers for the first time. They are truly majestic!
Perhaps someday, maybe not soon, you will be able to bring sunflowers to her grave as a celebration of all the memories you have of her, and of the role sunflowers played in them.
I like to let myself believe my mom is there with me appreciating them when I leave her flowers [her grave is a bit far so I very infrequently get to do so]. I swear I notice signs of appreciation from her after, pennies from heaven or squirrels and birds doing odd things. Maybe it's all in my head but it brings me piece of mind thinking she still appreciates when I rarely do something just for her.
My Mom passed some 22 years ago now and is buried about 2k miles away so I don't get to visit much anymore with all that has been going on but I still think of her often and the many things she taught me about life. It's nice that you have something that was just you and her to remember her by, hold on to that memory dearly 🥹
My mother loved flowers too and would always cut some from the yard to have in the house. She did it because she loved flowers - and so my father (who couldn’t go out) could see them. I don’t live anywhere near the cemetery, but I’m also conflicted about bringing flowers when I do go.
I completely understand. A few weeks ago it was my dads first birthday without him. I don't understand the concept of standing over a corpse, but I still went. I use sunflowers in so many things I do. I love their sentiments and history; how they find the light no matter how dark the world can get... In mythology, two lovers were separated, one as the sun and the other a sunflower. And still she is staring up, watching him burn bright
